I traveled as a deckhand for 19 hours on a huge plane. Personally, I wouldn't even call it a plane—more like a flying chunk of land. After takeoff, you never had the feeling of being airborne. I was accompanied by a crew of six, and I was seated next to an elderly bosun who had a beard like the lead singer Lemmy from the band Motörhead, even his face was almost like old Lemmy's.
Bosun Lemmy said, “Is this your first rodeo, kid?”
I said, “No, this is my second time. I haven't properly introduced myself. I'm Jack Tanner.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “Tanner!? Is your dad a bosun back at the other company?”
I said, “Yes, it's him. Mister Fix-It-All.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “It's a small world. I've been with your father on a few ships. Can't wait to see what you're made of.”
I said, “I'm trying something new. Nobody in this company knows about him, and in a way, I'm trying to build my career on my own.”
Bosun Lemmy nodded and asked, “Did you finish maritime school?”
I answered, “Yes. Now I must work as a Cadet for one year before I can take my officer exam.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “With your father's blood in you and officer papers, you'll be a Captain for sure. I've seen a few exceptional young people becoming Captains already at 26 years of age.”
I said, “I heard some stories too, from my teachers at school.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “Now that we are in the air, we should check for vacant seats so we can lie down and sleep.”
I said, “I'm not sure we can do that. I have a ticket for my seat.”
Bosun Lemmy smiled and said, “I've done this before. Trust me, soon every passenger on this plane is going to do the same. Find yourself an empty row of seats and claim it as yours. You'll thank me later.”
Bosun Lemmy left in search of some empty seats. At first, I hesitated, but soon I noticed other passengers getting rattled and slowly spreading all over the plane. I went to the back and found three empty seats in a row. Time passed slowly as I watched every movie they had. Bosun Lemmy found a female companion, and they drank together, remaining intoxicated throughout the entire trip.
After we landed, a small bus waited for us. It took us to the port entrance, where we saw a large bulk carrier. At the gate, a crew member awaited us with a cart full of safety equipment. Gate security instructed us to put on the gear, which included: working overalls, safety shoes, gloves, a life jacket, a mask, glasses, ear protectors, and a helmet. It was ridiculous; we barely managed to put all that stuff on and walk to the ship, dragging each other along. The big, cheap lifejackets obscured our eyesight, and the summer heat made it unbearable. We were cooked in an instant and could hardly breathe. Within minutes, we were all sweaty, and our glasses fogged up from heavy breathing. I just wanted to jump into the sea to cool off. We placed our suitcases in a big net that was hauled to the deck by a crane on top of the bridge.
The deckhand I was supposed to replace looked a little strange, like he was some lowlife junkie. He showed me my new quarters, which were decent, to say the least: a small room with one bed, a small desk, and a bathroom. He took his bags and left. I removed all the safety equipment and changed clothes, taking off my wet clothes and putting on working overalls.
Bosun Lemmy came to my door and said, “Jack, get out of your cabin.”
I approached Bosun as he leaned against the next door and said, “You too, Eric, come on.”
From the cabin beside me emerged a young person who had traveled with us. His hair was styled in a trendy, slightly tousled manner, framing his face perfectly. His eyes were a captivating shade of brown. His jawline was strong and well-defined, adding to his overall attractiveness. Both of his ears were pierced, adorned with small, stylish earrings that added a touch of edginess to his look. His smile was bright and genuine. I noticed the chest tag inscribed with “Deckhand.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “You two are new deckhands. Say hi to each other and let's go. We need to load up provisions.”
Deckhand Eric said, “Provisions!?”
I said, “It's food. By the way, hi there, fellow deckhand. I'm Jack.”
We shook hands, and Deckhand Eric said, “Hi, nice to meet you.”
We followed the bosun to the top of the bridge, where there was a big crane. The new Chief Officer, who looked like young Jhon Voight, and Bosun Lemmy tried to operate the crane, but the bosun from the old crew hadn't shown them how. The crane didn't seem to budge. Soon, the Second Engineer, William—everyone called him Will—appeared.
Second Engineer Will shouted, “What did you do? You blew the electric motor!”
Chief Officer Jhon was speechless.
Bosun Lemmy said, “What are you talking about? I didn’t even budge it.”
Second Engineer Will said to Bosun Lemmy, “OK, show me what you did.”
Bosun Lemmy showed various buttons and levers for operating the crane and said, “I turned on the power here, pressed this button, pressed that one, and pulled the lever.”
Second Engineer Will scratched his head and said with a firm voice, “You forgot this one, the lock… Damn it, the electric motor is now fried. Do you know how much that thing costs?”
Chief Officer Jhon turned to us and the rest of the crew and said, “Guys, we’ll have to load it manually. Go down and make a chain from the gangway to the pantry.”
We did as Chief Officer Jhon ordered. On the main deck, we formed a human chain and passed the goods from one hand to another. Behind me was an AB[1] without teeth who looked like he had escaped from the Neanderthal age. He had a robust and stocky build with shorter limbs, a prominent brow ridge, and a large nose with a broad base. His face was slightly forward-projecting, with a low forehead, giving him an uncanny resemblance to our ancient cousins. With a round head and an overall muscular appearance, it was as if he had stepped straight out of a prehistoric era.
Neanderthal AB was unsatisfied and said, “Again, brother, three pallets of food for six months. There should be at least eight. The Captain is skipping money again, that old rat. What are we supposed to eat—these leftovers packed before my mother was born?”
While I handed one of the frozen meat packages, I looked at the packaging date, and it was packed eight years ago. It had more ice than meat.
After we were finished, the Second Officer came for me and said, “You and the other deckhand have normal working hours at sea, but in port, you will take turns every six hours like me and the Third Officer. You will be in shift with the Third Officer.”
I asked, “But when will I be on the bridge?”
The Second Officer answered, “Bridge? Never. In this company, they don’t allow anyone on the bridge except officers on watch.”
I said, “But the agent told me that I will be trained as a Cadet.”
The Second Officer said, “This company doesn’t have Cadets, and your job here is to chip rust on deck and serve the crew during breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”
I asked, “Can I see the Captain and…”
The Second Officer cut me off and said, “No one can see the Captain. You have a chain of command and you report to the bosun.”
The Second Officer handed me a pencil and pointed to where I needed to sign on a paper full of signatures. He said, “Sign here to confirm you'll contribute 50 USD for the barbecue.”
I said, “Barbecue? I don’t have any money on me.”
The Second Officer said, “It will be deducted from your next pay. It’s a custom; look, everybody signed.”
I signed it but wasn’t pleased, as my monthly wages were 500 USD.
My watch duty was on the gangway during the evening hours to monitor who was coming onboard and going out. A group of old crew members stormed out of the ship’s superstructure. They were happy and they cheered.
I said, “Going out!”
One of them said, “Ohoooo finally, man… we were stuck on this ship for four months without going on shore.”
They quickly rolled out into the darkness. Neanderthal AB passed by, as his duty was on the other side of the ship to watch that nobody climbed on board from the seaside, which was dumb because this was a high-security port in modern society.
Neanderthal AB stopped behind me and said, “Brother, those poor engineers are stuck for maintenance; they will never get out. These guys are lucky. Listen, I was wondering how much you paid to get on board?”
I said, “What!? No. Nothing.”
Neanderthal AB said, “Nothing, brother. That is not possible. You must pay every time. Sometimes first pay or in advance.”
I said, “I’ve heard of this, but I never pay, nor would I ever do this.”
Neanderthal AB said, “You are lying, brother. OK, have it your way. You don’t need to tell me how much you paid to get onboard.”
Neanderthal AB continued his route. After a few hours, the group of old crew members came back with their spirits down and sad looks on their faces.
The 3rd Officer emerged from the superstructure of the ship. His head was topped with slightly tousled, dark hair that framed his face. His deep-set, expressive brown eyes added depth to his gaze. He had high cheekbones and a strong jawline. He was thin and unshaved, adding to his rugged and somewhat disheveled appearance. He asked, “What happened, guys? I thought you would stay out all night.”
One of the old crew stopped and said, “We took a taxi and told the driver to take us to a bar with the most beautiful women. We went into this bar, and on entering it, the bartender caught my eye; he was looking strange, but the boys just stormed in. It was full of beautiful ladies, and we quickly found a few of them who wanted to sit with us and have a drink. We laughed and talked, some of us were making out, and George went a little further with his fingers. Suddenly, he pushed the girl away, shocked, saying, ‘GUYS, this one has extra parts.’ We were like, ‘What parts, George? You’re drunk.’ George stood up, shouting, ‘No, she has balls, man.’ We were all like, ‘WTF, girls... I mean men... IT...’ They were surprised we didn’t know. So, we ran, and they tried to stop us. It was a fight for survival. We climbed over them, ran, and they were chasing us in the streets, begging us to come back and saying they wouldn’t hurt us.”
The 3rd Officer burst out in laughter while holding his stomach.
The old crewmember shook his head and said, “Not funny. It’s really not funny.”
The 3rd Officer couldn’t catch his breath from laughing, and the old crewmember just waved his hand goodbye and went to bed.
Deckhand Eric came by to relieve me and said, “Bosun said to check our cabins for drugs so that in the next port we wouldn’t have any problems with authorities. Because we never know who was here before us, we could go to jail innocent. I found some grass and pills and flushed them down the toilet.”
The 3rd Officer said to me, “Smart man, that bosun. Check your cabin well and be thorough; the guy before you spent every cent he had on drugs and girls. After two years, he went home without a dime in his pocket.”
I said, “Two years!? I thought contracts were 4-6 months.”
The 3rd Officer laughed and said, “Wait till you meet that pedophile waiter. His hobby is collecting birds like owls and seagulls and keeping them locked up in his cabin as pets. He was on one ship for five years. Even the owner came to meet him and shake his hand, and he gave him an expensive watch. They needed to hire a container for all his stuff, because he outfitted his cabin like an apartment.”
I was speechless, but deckhand Eric said, “Five years. No way. I never heard of it. How long are the contracts now? Still five years?”
The 3rd Officer said, “No. Now they are two years.”
I said, “Two years!? I signed for six months.”
The 3rd Officer said, “We will see, they all say that.”
The 2nd Officer came to take the watch from the 3rd Officer and said to him, “The new Chief Officer doesn’t like his new 24/7 working hours in port. He asked the Captain to bring back normal eight-hour shifts, but the Captain just ran him out of his quarters.”
The 3rd Officer laughed.
I went to my cabin and checked every millimeter, but couldn’t find any signs of drugs. I took my clothes off, took a shower, and finally went to sleep. But I noticed something pounding on the wall above my head. I leaned closer and it sounded like a sledgehammer pounding against my steel wall. I opened the window and looked outside, but there was no one there. I thought to myself, “Must be the engine crew with maintenance!” Over the night, I was unable to sleep due to the sound of pounding metal. I got up for my duty, and on my door was deckhand Eric.
I said, “Do you hear this noise, like someone is using a sledgehammer on my wall?”
Deckhand Eric said, “Same thing in my cabin; I didn’t get any rest. I asked around, but no one knew what I was talking about. The only thing I overheard is that they pranked the deckhand before me. They shut off the water to the cabin and told him that the pipes were broken. So, he didn’t take a shower for a month and begged the other deckhands to let him use their toilets.”
I asked, “But why? Did he step on some toes?”
Deckhand Eric said, “Nope, they just wanted to prank him. Some prank, huh. Oh, and don’t forget it’s breakfast time soon, so report to the kitchen.”
[1] AB – Able seaman
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