At lunchtime, we got a meatloaf, one slice per plate. It smelled awful and was multicolored from brown to green.
Bosun Lemmy took a whiff and exclaimed, “I can’t believe it. He ground up the rotten sausages and meat to make a meatloaf.”
The crew grumbled as the Big Cook entered the messroom, clutching a liter of juice and an XXL salami. He sat at a table, locked eyes with Bosun Lemmy, and casually ate a few chunks of salami while sipping his juice. The Big Cook smiled and said, “What are you looking at, motherfucker? I fuck your mother.”
Everyone looked at Bosun Lemmy as he calmly stood up and walked away. Someone from the crew said, “That fatty fuck.”
The cook chewed the salami like a chicken leg and poured juice all over his beard and neck. He said to everyone, “What are you looking at, motherfucker? I fuck your mother, motherfucker!”
Everyone just left the messroom and went outside.
We all gathered on the deck near Bosun Lemmy, who was leaning on the fence, probably to calm his nerves. The 3rd Officer approached us, filled with anger.
The 3rd Officer said, “I need just one of you to help me throw the cook overboard. Just one. Anyone. He is a sick bastard. He is trying to poison us.”
Marlboro man said, “I know you are angry right now, but you made a mistake coming to us and saying this. Now if anything happens to the cook, there is a chance someone will talk.”
The 3rd Officer, seething with anger, exclaimed, “I don’t care. I’m going to kill that fat psychopath myself and shove that rotten meat down his throat.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “I thought officers eat better food than us.”
The 3rd Officer said, “No. We eat the same shit you do. The Second Mate is buying his food. I’m not buying anything. The company should give me fucking food on the table.”
I said, “But I saw the waiter. He always brings something good to the officers' messroom.”
The 3rd Officer said, “It is for the Captain. He is eating prosciutto or some delicacies while the rest of us are starving.”
I said, “Nobody said anything to him!? What does he say?”
The 3rd Officer said, “He is the Captain, no one will say anything to him. He is ignoring what we are eating. He doesn’t care.”
I said, “By the name of this company, I thought it had high standards. I don’t know how to survive a month, let alone 2 to 5 years like these other lunatics.”
Huge motorman laughed and said, “You are right. To voluntarily be a slave without food, you must be mad indeed.”
On the ship's speakers, an announcement said, “Crew to your stations, we are approaching the pilot station in two hours.”
I said, “Did he say two hours?”
The 3rd Officer said, “You heard that right. Now you will come with me and sit on the bow for two hours. Then, when we pick up the pilot, we will probably linger around for up to six hours until we start seeing some action.”
Bosun Lemmy just shook his head and walked away.
I said, “But why!?”
The 3rd Officer said, “This Captain wants us on standby if he needs us, that’s just the way it is.”
I said, “On the last ship, they called us 20 to 30 minutes before.”
The 3rd Officer said, “We all know how it should be, but here we are under this Captain, and it is our duty to follow his commands.”
The crew went to their stations, and time passed slowly. As we approached the port, a big speedboat came close to us, full of girls in bikinis.
The girls shouted, “Come with us.”
“Jump down.”
“Let’s have some fun.”
The 3rd Officer said to me, “Don’t even think about it.”
The ship's horn blasted a few times, echoing through the air. As the speedboat moved away, the girls all waved to us.
I said to the 3rd Officer, “These looked like normal girls.”
The 3rd Officer said, “Yes, normal girls. This is typical in this country. They party all the time. There’s no real winter here with snow; the lowest temperature is around 18 degrees during the winter.”
I said, “That’s nice.”
The 3rd Officer said, “Well, not really. There is a lot of humidity overnight, and everyone is in top shape with a tan. If you and I walked around the beach, they would laugh at us.”
He really crushed my dreams of hanging out with the girls from that speedboat. Instantly, I imagined them laughing at my unshaved body. After we berthed, some of the crew went out. I was still under the impression of those girls in the speedboat.
I asked the 3rd Officer, “Can I also go out for a few hours?”
The 3rd Officer said, “I’ll let you know.” He then walked away to the gangway.
After some time, I was in my cabin, and the 3rd Officer knocked.
I said, “Yes.”
The 3rd Officer said, “Some authority figures want to see you in person before clearing you because you have a beard. Report to the Captain's Office.”
I reached the Captain's Office and saw a few of us standing in line. Among them, I noticed deckhand Eric. One by one, we entered and exited the room. As Eric passed by me on his way out, our eyes briefly met.
I said, “What did they ask you?”
Deckhand Eric said, “Nothing. They just checked the earrings I have on my ears, and that’s it.”
From the cabin, a voice said, “Jack Tanner, please come in.”
I entered the room, and Captain Balding was seated behind a desk on the right, while on the left, two authority figures were seated, and they smiled.
One of the authority figures said, “You’re okay. The picture on this document was telling a different story. Okay, next.”
Captain Balding moved his hand, giving me the signal to leave the room.
Down at the main deck, I got my passport and went with Huge Motorman. We took a taxi to an area of buildings with shopping malls, like a field of them—never saw anything like that before. We browsed around, and Huge Motorman bought a lot of stuff, including food for the ship.
I said, “You shouldn’t spend your money on food if the company is already paying for it. Then our monthly wages are not real if you spend them on food.”
Huge Motorman said, “I know, but what am I supposed to eat? And I have a small kid at home. If I leave and blow this company, I can’t be sure that I will find another job so quickly.”
I said, “Then just find another one before leaving this one. It’s that simple.”
Huge Motorman looked me over his shoulder and said, “The old crew is mostly from the same country. They rotate and exploit us. I was never able to find a job with a different company. I have bad foreign language skills, low computer skills; how am I going to find another company?”
We passed by a store with swords.
I said, “Wow, I never saw this before—a store for swords. Can we check it out?”
Huge motorman said, “We are tight on time. You are a big boy, and we can split. You go browse around, and we will meet outside the main entrance in half an hour.”
I said, “Sure. See ya!”
I went in and browsed so many medieval weapons. There was a nice old lady behind the counter.
The old lady said, “May I help you, young man?”
I said, “This is all so beautiful. Could I see that big sword?”
The old lady said, “Okay, I will give it to you, but you must promise me not to wave it around. One customer before almost broke the glass and cut my head off trying to swing that damn thing.”
I smiled and said, “No worries, I promise I will be careful.” I tried the sword by the handle, and it was really well balanced. It was like a longsword, really long but felt like holding a small hammer. Now I understood why the person before me waved the sword around.
I said, “These are quality made, really impressive.”
The old lady said, “Yes. You see there is a stamp, and you get this certificate of quality. If you are interested, there is this limited edition over here.” She showed me a sword broken down in pieces on a wooden plate. Handcrafted with real gold.
I was stunned by the beauty of the sword. Even this broken sword was balanced.
I said, “I’ll take these two swords.”
The old lady was happy and said, “I can see these swords will be in good hands.”
After that, I waited outside the building, but there were too many people near the door, so I moved to the road near the parking area. A big purple coupe sportscar slowly approached and stopped with the driver door in front of me. The glass was also purple, making it hard to see who was inside. The window rolled down on the driver side, revealing a beautiful tall young woman dressed in a purple bikini. Everything about her was purple—her hair, her nails, her glasses, even her lipstick. She looked at me and, with her right hand, dropped her purple glasses to the tip of her nose, revealing purple eyeliner. I was speechless; I had only seen this in movies, never in reality. The woman smiled at me and moved her lips like she was about to say something. Suddenly, a hand grabbed my right shoulder.
Someone, out of breath, said, “Ask her if she can drive us to the ship.”
The lady in purple looked at him, pushed her glasses back with her finger, and sped off full throttle, leaving a trail of smoking tires behind her.
I turned around, eager to see who had ruined my once-in-a-lifetime chance, and there stood Huge Motorman.
I said, “Why are you panting so much?”
Huge Motorman, trying to catch his breath, replied, “When I saw you there with her, I ran so she could give us a lift.”
I wanted to say all kinds of things, but what was the point? She was gone anyway. That purple color just took root in my brain; from then on, it was on my ‘I like’ list.
We departed from the port, and after a few days, it was Sunday. Everyone was happy because it was barbecue time. At the stern, they set up two big tables exclusively for the crew, as the officers would eat in the officers' messroom. The sleazy waiter prepared their food on the barbecue. Some crew members were seated and chatting with each other, while others poured beer over their meat on the barbecue.
I asked, “Why are the officers not eating with us?”
Neanderthal AB replied, “The Captain forbids them to mingle with us, brother. They are officers, and we are grunts.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “You mean slaves.”
Neanderthal AB said, “Slaves don’t have barbecues, brother.”
I looked at some people as they stuffed their mouths with meat and ate like crazy from weekly starvation.
I said, “I see so much meat, but for 50 USD per person, it should be more!? When did they buy it?”
Neanderthal AB said, “It was already on board, because when you arrive for the first time, you eat the meat from the old crew, and the next three Sundays, you eat your own meat. This is how it works.”
I said, “Every Sunday is barbecue!?”
Neanderthal AB said, “Yes, brother.”
I asked, “But where do they keep it?”
Neanderthal AB replied, “In the freezer below the kitchen, brother.”
Marlboro man said, “It’s a scam. The cook is giving us meat that was bought by the company that we should be eating daily.”
Neanderthal AB said to Marlboro man, “That’s not true, brother.”
Marlboro man said, “Then why can’t we see our meat? It is handled by the cook and locked behind those big doors. The entire pantry is locked tight.”
Neanderthal AB said, “Nah, conspiracy theorist.”
Marlboro man just shook his head and went for more meat on the barbecue. Later, the 3rd Officer arrived and joined us.
I said to the 3rd Officer, “I thought you officers can’t mix with us.”
The 3rd Officer said, “That is true, but the Captain went to bed and he won’t know unless you tell him.”
I looked at the 3rd Officer’s pocket and saw a can of food sticking out.
I said, “Why are you people all spending your money on canned food? Eventually, you will have medical issues. Even this barbecue. If what Marlboro man said is true, you are losing double money while the company is still paying for food. We should stop this. There are twenty of us and one cook.”
Neanderthal AB said, “And the Captain, brother.”
I said, “No matter. We should all be united in the messroom and not bring our food to the table. They are obligated to give us proper food every day.”
AB Silver said, “You’re just a kid with stupid ideas. These are not medieval times where you can start a mutiny on a ship.”
Marlboro man said, “Shut up. The kid has bigger balls than you.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “The kid is right.”
Sleazy waiter came from behind me and said, “Let’s go, you have to clean the dishes.”
I followed him and I cleaned the dishes, the stern, the tables, everything while the crew watched a movie. I was done at 22:00 hours. I didn’t know people could make so much mess at a simple barbecue.
Bosun Lemmy saw me and said, “Hey Jack, where have you been the entire evening.”
I said, “Cleaning after you guys,” and I went to bed. I slept like a tank. It seems my senses have adapted to this environment, and I didn’t hear anything while I slept.
The next day, during lunch, we had only rice. The crew wasn’t too happy with the taste, so I took the half-moldy butter from the crew messroom fridge. I scraped off the mold, cut a slice of butter, and mixed it into the rice. The butter melted, and with a pinch of salt, it tasted good.
Deckhand Eric said, “Is it good!?”
I replied, “Better than eating plain rice.”
Deckhand Eric also took a slice of butter and mixed it in his rice. He tried it and said, “This is really good.”
We passed the butter around, and everyone mixed it with rice. Big Cook stood at the door and, after the last crewman used the butter, he took it and said, “No more butter, motherfuckers!”
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