In the next port, we ventured out to escape the stifling atmosphere of the ship. As I walked down the streets, small shops lined the path. I wandered in and out of each shop, curious to see what they offered. One shop, however, felt off. It had only a few pictures on the walls, an old TV, and some mismatched furniture with no price tags.
Then, I noticed the shopkeeper—a man in his underwear, wielding a bat. Then it clicked for me, ‘this must be someone’s house.’ The owner ran me out, and I dashed back into the street, blending into the crowd. That was the end of my store explorations. From then on, I stuck to street vendors, hoping to avoid another unintentional home invasion.
On the corner of a building, I spotted an open bakery. With both walls fully open, it showcased an array of cakes, pastries, and other baked goods on tables. Initially, I was amazed to see all these sweet treats out in the open air. However, as I drew closer, I noticed flies and bugs crawling over the snacks. I was shocked and couldn't fathom how anyone could eat or sell that. Realizing this port wasn’t for me, I decided to head back to the ship.
On the way back, I met Deckhand Eric.
I said, “Aren’t you supposed to be on watch?”
Deckhand Eric said, “Chief Mate let me go.”
I said, “Be careful; there are stores and private houses all mixed up. The owner chased me out with a club.”
Deckhand Eric laughed.
I said, “Also, the food—I think you should avoid it. It’s laying around in the hot sun, and flies are all over it. You will see for yourself.”
Deckhand Eric said, “For real? I guess you could tell by the looks of this place. I was going to go out with the waiter, then Bosun Lemmy told me that the waiter is a pedophile.”
I said, “I heard. Stay away from that guy.”
Deckhand Eric said, “Yeah, after I met him in the hallway and said I’d be going alone, he said: ‘Fine, you would probably ruin my chances of finding small girls anyway.’ That is a sick man.”
I said, “Backwater places like these are a paradise for him. Better not to think about it. Anyway, have fun.”
Deckhand Eric said, “Thanks. Bye.”
I walked back to the ship and came across a large square. My feet were aching, so I decided to take a break and sat down beneath a statue. As I took in the surroundings, observing the buildings and people, I sensed trouble. A group of local street gang members were scanning the area, clearly searching for their next victim. Unfortunately for me, before I could avert my gaze, their leader caught my eyes focused on them.
I said to my beard, “Oh boy.”
The trash gang surrounded me and the statue in a 360-degree formation. I couldn't tell how many there were; more than two was enough to overpower me. I wasn’t a martial arts expert, and I felt like a piece of bacon surrounded by wolves. Their leader sat down next to me, and I tried my best to avoid eye contact. I managed to catch a glimpse of his dreadlocks and a barcode tattoo on his right cheek.
I weighed my options, knowing that fighting back in a foreign country wasn't viable. Even if I somehow succeeded, the police would likely put me in a holding cell since I was in their territory. Feeling trapped and out of place, I realized that confrontation was not an option.
The leader lit a cigar and said, “I saw you checking us out. Do you have a problem with the way we look?”
I smiled and said, “No. I was just admiring your shirt. Looks cool.”
The leader took a smoke, exhaled it in my face, and said, “Do I look funny to you? Why the smile?”
I said, “I was just being polite.”
The leader said, “You know showing your teeth in an animal world is a sign of aggression.”
I said, “Well, I’m not an animal.”
The leader took a smoke and said, “Then you are saying I’m an animal.”
I said, “What gave you that idea? We are just two humans talking about a shirt.”
The leader said, “Really. What would you say if I said I fucked your mother?”
I said, “I’d say you have bad taste in women.”
Some of his trash followers laughed, and the leader said, “Then I fucked your father.”
I said, “How do you know it was my father!?”
The leader said, “He looked like you, a hairy pimple.”
I said, “Then it could be. I don’t judge if you’re into old men.”
Some of his trash followers chuckled, and the leader looked at them.
The leader said to me, “You think you’re cool. Do you see my arm?” He shoved his left arm, covered in cigar burns, in my face and continued, “How would you like to have this on your face!?”
I said, “I’d rather have that tattoo on your face. Looks like a barcode. That way, if somebody steals my head, I could find it easily.”
The leader said, “I want to hear you scream.” The leader revealed his brownish teeth.
I said, “Just buy me some spicy food.”
A strong voice behind me said, “Is everything alright here!?”
I looked behind and saw two police officers.
The leader of the street trash said, “Nosy pest control.”
The police officer asked, “What did you call me?”
The leader replied, “I’ve mistaken you for somebody else.”
Two policemen walked closer to me, and the gang spread out a bit.
One of the policemen held his hand on the stick that hung around his waist and said, “I get the feeling you are harassing this foreigner.”
The leader said, “Me harass? He looks like a nice guy. I don’t harass nice guys.”
I said, “Thank you, officers, for coming by. I was about to leave. I have a ship to catch.”
The policemen nodded and said, “Thank you for visiting our city. You can go now.”
Some of the trash gang moved.
The policeman looked around and said, “Where are you going, pests?” The policemen pointed at me and said, “Only he can go.”
I nodded and walked away slowly. I overheard as the leader and the policeman argued.
The leader said, “It’s not my fault people are always terrified of me.”
The policeman said, “You still haven’t figured out that this area is off limits.”
The leader said, “Like you can do anything. You can’t even protect a donut.”
Their voices faded as I went back to the ship.
In the evening watch, I was on the gangway as security and some of the crew came back. Huge Motorman was with them.
I asked Huge Motorman, “How is night life in this place?”
Huge Motorman sighed and said, “Terrible. First, we went to a bar and some locals almost instigated a fight, but they backed off when bosun started to eat his glass.”
I said, “Eating his glass!? What do you mean?”
Huge Motorman waved his head and said, “That crazy old-timer. He ate the damn tumbler[1]. I guess he knows how to eat glass because he didn’t cut himself.”
I asked, “What is a tumbler?”
Huge Motorman said, “It’s a cup for drinks.”
I said, “I can’t even imagine how not to cut your mouth, tongue, even swallow…”
Huge Motorman said, “Or take a dump.”
I laughed.
Huge Motorman said, “After that, we split up, and a few of us went to see some girls. When we got to their place, it was the first time I saw cockroaches as big as your palm. You could hear them scurrying around. I even stepped on one by accident. Ohhhhhh, the horror—it felt like stepping into a pile of shit covered with potato chips.” He shuddered from the memory and continued, “Then AB Silver went into the bathroom, and he almost got electrocuted. There were wires hanging out everywhere like a spider web, sparking with a loose bulb in the middle. The walls were all cracked, and the windows were broken. That’s when we decided it was best to head back.”
I said, “What did the girls say?”
Huge Motorman said, “They tried to hold us, but after seeing that I’m not going out anymore. I will have nightmares of those cockroaches. Uh uh. Grrr.” Huge Motorman left my company.
Later I saw bosun Lemmy as he came back to the ship. I said, “Hi Bosun, I heard it was quite an adventure tonight.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “These hookers here are terrible. Can you imagine there was a line of men waiting to get laid and when it was my turn I walked in and saw this woman lying down with her legs open smoking a cigar. She noted me to fuck her. I grabbed her by the hair and stood her up, all the cum form all those men just came out all over the bed. Can you imagine she must have been lying there all fucking day and those guys, they might as well fuck each other.”
I said, “Gross. So, you left?”
Bosun Lemmy said, “No. I dragged her into the bathroom, kicked her into the shower, and told her to wash up. Then I threw out all the bed sheets. After she was all clean, she placed new bed sheets, and I laid down and said to her, ‘Now it’s your turn to work for your money,’ and she did. These savages.”
I said, “This place is terrible.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “The big cities are more civilized, but they are inland.”
We said our goodbyes, and as the bosun walked away, the 3rd Officer approached me, watching him leave.
The 3rd Officer said, “Did you hear? At the barbecue, the bosun visited the Captain with a bottle of wine, and they were best buddies. Watch out for this guy.” He tapped the side of his head with an index finger and went outside.
The ship departed for our next destination on a sunny day. The deck crew was busy painting the forward end of the deck. Bosun Lemmy opened the winch drum brakes wide and cleaned them with a brush grinder. Pointing to the brake part of the winch with his right hand, he looked at Neanderthal AB and said, “Paint this area also.”
Marlboro Man said, “You can’t paint that part. The brake will not hold if you paint the drum brake.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “I have more experience, that's why I’m bosun and you’re not. Paint everything.” Then he walked away.
Neanderthal AB painted everything, even the drum and the brake. Soon, Bosun Lemmy returned with Chief Officer Jhon. Bosun Lemmy said, “Look at this. I specifically told them not to paint this area. Now the brake won’t hold, and I have to brush it all again. I have to do everything because the crew is incompetent to do basic tasks. Without me, this ship would fail.”
Marlboro Man raised his voice and said, “What are you talking about? You ordered us to paint this. Why are you sucking up on our backs? You’re the one who set the forecastle on fire, and now you think you’re a big hero.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “Shut up with those lies. See, Chief, what I’m up against every day.”
Marlboro Man tightened his grip on the paintbrush and said, “You son of a bitch!”
Chief Officer Jhon firmly said, “Everyone, back to work. I don’t want to hear even a fly buzzing. Bosun, walk with me.”
Bosun Lemmy and Chief Officer Jhon walked away. This was the first time I saw Bosun Lemmy speaking against us openly. I didn’t understand what changed to make him act this way.
Later in the afternoon, during the second tea break, I stepped out of the superstructure onto the main deck. To my surprise, I saw Bosun Lemmy running away from Marlboro Man, who was chasing him with a crowbar.
As they ran past me, Marlboro Man shouted, “I’m gonna fuck you up!”
The chase continued around the deck until they disappeared from my sight. I looked around for the other crew members. They were seated around the coffee room, watching the live show.
I asked, “What happened?”
Neanderthal AB replied, “Marlboro Man is just fed up with Bosun's bullshit. They argued, and you know the rest, brother.”
Deckhand Eric said, “Bosun crossed the line when he said that Marlboro Man’s mom smoked Marlboros while she was pregnant.”
Neanderthal AB said, “I think they are not ready to be in a relationship.” Everyone laughed. The ship tilted as it passed over a big wave. The sea looked like a big carpet with large bumps, no wind, no storm—just a sunny day.
Neanderthal AB said, “These dead waves remind me of that crazy Captain who sailed straight into the waves because, in his opinion, waves can’t do anything to a ship. In the next port, our forward section was demolished; the anchors destroyed the forecastle and made big holes. It was a mess, brother.”
Huge Motorman said, “I remember that one. After that, he apologized to the crew for putting their lives in danger.”
An announcement on the ship's speakers said, “No man on deck, we are experiencing more and more activity from the dead waves. Secure everything for heavy weather.”
We went to cover all the vents, secure all the hatches and doors.
[1] Tumbler - a type of glass used for drinking
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