In the morning, I saw a lot of modern cranes and an operator who came to the ship with a foldable chair. He placed the chair in front of the hold and used the remote box around his neck to control this big crane.
Bosun Lemmy was beside me, and he said, “Would you look at that. And they say we have better ports than them. Look at him playing with that thing. Like a joystick for videogames.”
We observed and marveled at how he played with this huge crane without fear, like it was a game.
The 3rd Officer came behind us and said, “Looks like we are stuck here for a week maybe.”
Bosun Lemmy asked, “Why?”
The 3rd Officer replied, “Some engine problems again.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “Some engineers, every port some problems with the engine.”
The 3rd Officer said, “This time a service team is coming from the shore. Hopefully, they will fix the issue.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “Hopefully.”
Later during lunch time, I noticed the apple from the outside window was gone.
I asked, “What happened to the apple?”
Huge Motorman said, “I ate it.”
Neanderthal AB said, “And how was it, brother?”
Huge Motorman said, “After all this time it was spotless green on the outside. I peeled it off and inside it was perfect. It tasted like plastic as usual.”
Neanderthal AB gave a toothless smile and said, “It’s probably made out of plastic, brother.”
Huge Motorman said, “Everything is artificial these days.”
After we worked for six days and browsed the local town after work, I noticed that the people on the ship smelled sweet, while the locals were odorless. It felt strange.
I couldn’t wrap my brain around what was going on until one day in the city. I walked through a swarm of local people, and my nose detected that sweet smell. Being a head taller than the locals, I immediately turned my head like a dog and sniffed around. I spotted a foreign girl with lush, light brown hair that stood out among the locals. She looked at me, and her scent reminded me of home, bringing warmth to my heart. She raised her left palm and wiggled her fingers at me. I raised both my hands, indicating that I couldn’t move through the sea of people. She smiled and touched her lips with her right-hand fingers.
At that moment, my mobile phone rang, and I answered immediately, as usually no one would call me abroad except someone from the ship.
I said on the mobile phone, “Yes.”
On the other end of the mobile phone was the 2nd Officer Jeff, who said, “Get back to the ship immediately; we have been cleared. Unexpected departure in 1 hour.”
I said, “OK, coming right back.” I looked at the girl, and a part of me wanted to stay with her or bring her with me. I gestured with my hands that I had to go. She lowered her hand, her eyes sad. I took a deep breath through my nose to capture that smell of home and warmth one last time. She smiled and did the same. I waved goodbye, and she gently waved with her left palm. I ventured back to the ship, occasionally looking over my shoulder in her direction. She stood there, watching me until we lost each other in the crowd. I smiled as I ran back to the ship, because she had also taken a deep breath. I wondered if she had smelled me too, or if she was just mimicking my gesture for some other reason. Who knows how long she had been here. Or maybe it was all in my head, an error in my brain from prolonged exposure to ships. A red line blinked in the back of my skull, ‘Brain data error.’
I managed to get on board just in time, along with some other crew members who also ran. The ship departed so quickly that some of us didn’t even have time to change into our working outfits, ruining our private clothes in the maneuver.
The next day, Bosun Lemmy worked on a starboard supply crane. There were many tools and parts lying around. I passed through the mess and overheard the 2nd Engineer, who looked like the actor William H. Macy, arguing with Bosun Lemmy.
2nd Engineer Will said, “What are you doing? Look at all this mess.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “The crane was stuck and hasn’t been used for a long time, so I unstuck it.”
2nd Engineer Will said, “You call this unstuck? There are parts everywhere. You are not supposed to touch anything mechanical or electrical.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “Well, if you did your job, I wouldn’t have to. The deck is my responsibility, and I want everything to be operational.”
In the following days, I heard noises and knocks on the port side of the ship and saw Bosun Lemmy dismantling a very small crane. By my logic, this small crane was probably used to lift small items from the main deck to the upper deck. The 2nd Engineer Will was with him, looking angry and waving his hand. He left Bosun Lemmy and passed by, mumbling something angrily.
A few days later, Bosun Lemmy used a sledgehammer on a mooring rope roller. I stood near the superstructure, watching him when the Huge Motorman appeared from behind me. He stood next to me, placed his fists on his waist, and shook his head.
I said, “Bosun’s been busy lately.”
Huge Motorman said, “That guy is an idiot. He breaks everything he touches. We’d have more luck with a rent-a-clown.”
I said, “I saw him fix that starboard supply crane and that small crane on the port side.”
Huge Motorman chuckled and said, “Fixed? You mean he broke it beyond repair. The man is climbing so fast on our nerves that one day we will strangle him. Everyone in the engine room hates him.”
I said, “It can’t be repaired. It looked like a mechanical crane with one electric motor.”
Huge Motorman said, “Well, he broke off some parts that were corroded and deteriorated, and also busted the electric motor. So now you have two useless cranes, and it seems soon we will be adding a mooring rope roller to the list.”
I said, “Ooouu.”
Huge motorman said, “I better call the 2nd Engineer. He'll be happy to hear this.” Huge Motorman left, and soon after, I went back to my duties.
The ship arrived at the anchorage of our destination, and we waited there for an inspection of our cargo holds. Chief Officer John gathered a few of us to help Bosun Lemmy change the steel wire rope for lowering lifeboats. Among us were, Neanderthal AB, Huge motorman, AB Silver, and myself. We started on the starboard lifeboat, which was secured in place. The winch had two steel ropes—one for the front crane that held the lifeboat and one for the back crane.
Bosun Lemmy said, “First, we are going to spread out the new steel cables on the deck so they don’t twist, then we will unhook and remove the old cables. After that, we will reel up the new cables, greasing them in the process, and when they are in place, I’ll cut them to the same length and secure them.”
Chief Officer John said, “You heard the man, let’s go.”
We spread out the cables, removed the old ones, and Bosun Lemmy started to roll up one cable with his hands on the lifeboat winch.
Huge motorman said, “You can’t do that with hands. You need to put some tension on that and roll it up using the winch.”
Bosun Lemmy said, “Do not lecture me. I don’t need your nose poking into something you don’t understand. I’ve been a bosun my entire life.”
Huge motorman just walked away, shaking his head. Eventually, we finished up as we placed the new steel wire ropes, and the next step was to test them. Bosun Lemmy lowered the lifeboat to the boarding position, and on the front winch, the steel rope just slid through the stacks of reeled-up steel rope like a knife through butter. The lifeboat's forward end tilted down.
AB Silver said, “This is not good.”
Bosun Lemmy chewed his lower lip and said, “We need to secure it back and redo the steps.”
The crew barely managed to return the lifeboat to position, and we removed the steel wire ropes that were full of grease. We spread them on the deck and installed them again. Our work overalls were full of grease, not to mention the deck.
I said, “Let’s hope it’s good this time.”
Bosun Lemmy looked at me and lowered the lifeboat to the boarding level, and the same thing happened.
AB Silver whispered to me, “This guy doesn’t know what he is doing.”
Bosun Lemmy looked nervous, and he said, “We need to do it again.”
Neanderthal AB said, “Maybe we are doing something wrong, brother.”
Bosun Lemmy just ignored Neanderthal AB and secured the lifeboat back into position. We removed the cables and reeled them up again on the front winch. I helped Bosun Lemmy on the front winch, and both ABs worked on the rear one. In the end, we were greased from head to toe; even the deck was slippery as ice.
AB Silver looked at the deck and asked quietly, “Who will wash all this grease from the deck?”
Bosun Lemmy reached for the handle to lower the winch when he noticed the rear winch was reeling up in the opposite direction. Bosun Lemmy shouted, “What is this!? Where were you two dimwits looking!? Look at this.”
Chief Officer John asked, “What’s wrong?”
Bosun Lemmy pointed at the rear winch and shouted, “Look at this, it is in the opposite direction. Must I do everything myself? They are all incompetent.” Bosun Lemmy waved his hand at both ABs and shouted, “Get lost, just get out of my sight.” Bosun Lemmy turned to me and said, “You stay here, you will help me out.”
We removed the rear cables and installed them again. Chief Officer John watched as Bosun Lemmy lowered the lifeboat a little bit. The lifeboat leaned to the rear. Bosun Lemmy stopped and pulled the lifeboat back up.
Chief Officer John asked, “What is it?”
Bosun mumbled nervously, “The length is off, need to cut the other one so they are the same length.” Bosun Lemmy removed the end of the steel wire rope and shortened it a little bit. Again, on the next test, the front end was leaning.
Chief Officer John quietly observed the situation over his nose.
Bosun Lemmy said to me, “We have to remove all of the steel wire ropes and install them again.”
I assisted Bosun Lemmy as we removed and rolled up the ropes, with him doing most of the work. After all that hard work, Bosun Lemmy was eager to test the setup. But as soon as he lowered the lifeboat a bit, both wires just sank deep into the already-reeled wires on the winches.
Bosun Lemmy reeled up the lifeboat and said, “That’s it. It’s done.”
I was confused and said, “But the rope fell through, it shouldn’t do that!”
Bosun Lemmy just walked away.
Chief Officer John just looked and didn’t say a word. Eventually, he also left with an unsatisfied look on his face. I felt a burden on my chest, worrying that in an emergency, this lifeboat might get stuck due to our incorrect installation of the steel ropes. In the end, I left too, still feeling that weight on my chest.
In my cabin, I had to remove all my work overalls and threw them in a plastic bag. I had to wipe myself with paper towels where the grease had bypassed the overalls and scrubbed hard in the shower.
The next day, it was raining hard, and as I stepped out of my cabin, I saw everyone dressed in raincoats. These raincoats were very small, so most of the crew couldn't wear them properly and made some modifications. Bosun Lemmy punctured holes in the back for his arms and zipped two raincoats together. Marlboro Man used a lot of duct tape and looked like a mummy. Deckhand Eric punctured some holes in a garbage bag for his head and arms. Neanderthal AB wrapped himself in trash bags and duct tape. The crew looked like they belonged in some apocalyptic movie.
I asked Deckhand Eric, “What’s going on?”
Deckhand Eric handed me a garbage bag and said, “Here, you’ll need this, we are going outside to wash the ship.”
I took the garbage bag and said, “But it’s a storm outside, what do you mean wash the ship?”
Bosun Lemmy passed by me on his way out and said, “Come on, Jack, let’s go.”
I punctured holes in a garbage bag, grabbed my helmet, and followed them outside. It was windy, and the rain was heavy; you could feel it on your shoulders and head. I put the safety helmet on and could feel and hear the rain pounding on it. Bosun handed out big dust brooms of various designs—normal, T-shaped, big, and small—whatever he could find. Bosun Lemmy demonstrated how to soak brooms in barrels filled with soap, then he mopped and scrubbed around the entire ship while the rain poured down. We scrubbed the entire ship from top to bottom, barely able to see each other. I was soaked with rain; I don't think there was a dry spot on my body. It was so cold. I grumbled, swore, talked to myself, and argued with the rain. I even questioned the logic of this endeavor.
As we finished scrubbing the entire ship, the only part we didn’t clean was the ship's funnel. Bosun shouted something and waved around the funnel; he probably wanted us to scrub it, but we could only reach as far as our hands could. There was no ladder or anything on the funnel to grab on and climb. Bosun Lemmy climbed to the upper floor of the superstructure and tried to swing his broom to wash the funnel, but he was too far. At this point, he waved and crossed his hands, signaling that we were finished. I followed everyone inside the ship. We were all soaked to the skin.
Neanderthal AB smiled and said to me, “First time, brother! You’ll get used to it.”
I said, “I doubt it. It would be like washing a car during a storm, running around in a raincoat.”
Neanderthal AB revealed the graveyard within his mouth as he smiled and said, “Brother, now you know other ways of using a garbage bag.”
Marlboro Man said, “And duct tape.”
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