Later on, we arrived at the next port, and I was on gangway duty with the 3rd Officer.
The 3rd Officer said, “Did you hear? Last night, bosun left the ship. He asked the Captain for a crew change as he was already seven months on board and wanted to go home.”
I was surprised to hear this and said, “He didn’t even say goodbye.”
The 3rd Officer said, “No one liked him anyway, maybe only the Captain’s ass liked him from all that sucking up.”
A shore person climbed onto the gangway and gave the 3rd Officer some papers.
The shore person said, “We have a new steel door to install in the kitchen.”
The 3rd Officer was looking through the papers and said, “OK, the deck opening to the kitchen is here behind the superstructure.”
The 3rd Officer waved to Marlboro Man, who passed by, and said, “Show him the deck opening for loading provisions in the kitchen.” The 3rd Officer pointed to the shore person.
Marlboro Man waved in a follow-me motion and escorted the shore person behind the superstructure.
I said to the 3rd Officer, “Kitchen door? What was that about?”
The 3rd Officer smiled and said, “This day just keeps getting better and better. First bosun Lemmy, now this. I also found out this morning that last night, the cook figured out how somebody was stealing food from him. It turns out, from what I gathered, that for some time overnight, the engine crew would steal food from the locked storeroom door in the kitchen.”
I said, “They had a key!?”
The 3rd Officer said, “No. They rigged the pin from the hinges so it was easily removed, and they would just remove the door and later place it back.”
I said, “But the doors are heavy.”
The 3rd Officer said, “Well, not as heavy as this door coming now.” He pointed out a huge thick steel vault door floating through the air.
As I looked up, I could see these vault doors hanging from a shore crane on steel cables. I said, “These look like some serious heavy-duty doors. Not sure anybody will be able to crack them.”
The 3rd Officer said, “Maybe some master thief, but there aren’t any in the engine crew. Now they will probably be starving like the rest of us.”
I said, “It was probably only a few of them.”
The 3rd Officer said, “No. They were in it together. The engine crew on every ship is like a clan; you never know what is happening down there, and they always stick together. As for the rest of us on deck, we just can’t wait to stick a knife in each other’s back.”
I said, “Well, that is sad.”
The 3rd Officer said, “Yes, it is. I know a few times we had engine problems, and every engineer was in the engine room working nonstop. When you ask them what is going on, they say nothing, like everything is just peachy.”
An old man with a crooked back and a serious limp made his way to the gangway. The 3rd Officer watched as the old man struggled to go up the gangway and said, “I can’t believe this day. This tops it all.”
I asked, “What? Who is that old man?”
The 3rd Officer scratched his head and replied, “That is Peter. You know that story about how only one man survived dangling on the rails with multiple fractures after a wave washed them off at night? The one that agreed with the company not to take money and instead would board ships for the rest of his life.”
I looked down at this broken old man who struggled to climb up. One of his legs was shorter or something because of his heavy limp. He looked like he was hit by a train or run over by a bus, a crooked and severely distorted figure. There is no way he passed any real medical exam.
I said, “The story is real. I can’t believe this!”
The 3rd Officer said, “Better believe it. Look at him; he can’t even climb the gangway. Not taking that money—what an idiot. Look at him.”
The limping old man, Peter, reached the deck all sweaty and tired. He had thinning short hair and a prominent nose. He smiled at the 3rd Officer, revealing enormous white teeth that were disproportionate to his jaw. It looked like someone had stuck a few sizes bigger teeth in his small jaw. To say they resembled horse teeth would be an understatement—that's how big they were.
Peter caught his breath and said, “Hello there. I’m the new bosun.”
The 3rd Officer said, “Welcome aboard, bosun. Please sign the gangway record logbook, and I’ll show you to your cabin.”
Bosun Peter nodded and limped over to the book; he could barely hold the pencil to sign in. The 3rd Officer took over the luggage from the taxi driver who brought it on board.
The 3rd Officer said, “Follow me, bosun.”
The old man, Peter, followed the 3rd Officer into the superstructure. I was in shock to see such a person alive and with the willpower to serve on a ship. The entire situation felt surreal, like a turbo weird, sick dream. I couldn't believe this was real.
A young male voice over my shoulder said, “Hi.”
I turned around and saw a young man dressed in inspector overalls with a chest tag that read “apprentice.”
I said, “Hi and welcome. You are?”
The young apprentice said, “We are safety inspectors, here to check everything before cargo operations.”
I said, “OK, please sign in the logbook.”
The apprentice filled out the logbook.
I asked, “You must see all kinds of safety issues on ships.”
The apprentice said, “We see a lot. Even drunk personnel. I see you are a deckhand. How do you like it on a ship?”
I said, “Oh well, I think washing the ship with soap in rainy weather really tells you everything about how I feel and how jolly I am. Do you wash your car in the rain?”
The young apprentice laughed and said, “No. No. Definitely not.”
I said, “Do you work 24/7 or in shifts?”
The young apprentice said, “We usually work in shifts, but sometimes there's so much work that we have to pitch in and help out.”
I said, “When you are alone, it’s OK. After wife and kids, or even a girlfriend from what I’ve heard, it will be harder. One of my high school friends worked only for a month on a ship; then his girl called and said, ‘Get home or I’m leaving you.’”
The young apprentice laughed and said, “These are modern times.”
I showed him a car styling I drew in my free time and asked, “Are muscle cars cheap these days, or what do you drive?”
An elderly voice said, “Hmm… hmm… excuse me.”
I looked at the gangway and saw an old grumpy overweight person dressed in inspector clothing with a chest tag that read “inspector.”
I said, “Yes sir, please sign in the logbook.”
The elderly inspector signed and said, “We will go and inspect the ship on our own. We don’t want you or anybody to interfere in our duties.”
I said, “OK.”
The elderly inspector walked away with the young apprentice, and you could faintly hear them talk. The elderly inspector said, “Never talk to them. Did he ask you or tell you any personal information?”
The apprentice said, “Yes.”
The elderly inspector said, “As I thought, you must never talk to them. We are inspectors, and they are just people below our standard. You don’t hang out or talk with them. You are above that now. We are inspectors, we don’t mingle with that kind of people.”
I was just sad to hear I was considered a below-standard person, and he wouldn’t be able to small talk with me because, I guess, I’m a peasant or a dog. This old man will just corrupt this young apprentice with his higher value nonsense. The 3rd Officer came back.
I said, “Some preloading inspector came on board with an apprentice, and guess what? He told the apprentice not to address people below their standards, basically calling us scum.”
The 3rd Officer said, “Yes, because they are all high and mighty, but cannot read their manuals written in their language.”
I laughed.
The 3rd Officer, all excited, said, “For real. One time I took their book and solved the problem by following the instructions in their language in their book. The guy didn’t understand it. How can’t you understand a book written in your language?”
I said, “What’s up with the new bosun's teeth?”
The 3rd Officer said, “His original teeth were knocked out in the accident, and for some time, he wore fake teeth until he moved to some of those third-world countries because it was cheaper for him to live. There, some idiot installed those abominations called teeth.”
The 2nd Officer Jeff came by and said, “Just heard on some ship a kid lost his head.”
I asked, “How?”
The 2nd Officer Jeff said, “The kid was probably cleaning when someone closed the hatch and cut off his head. The head just slid into the hold.”
The 3rd Officer just shook his head and said, “Even in some of these ports, the dock workers operate our equipment and hatches due to some regulations, and you know how that turns out. They break our equipment, causing hundreds of thousands in damages and, as a bonus, killing someone in the process. I’ve seen it a lot of times.”
Deckhand Eric came by to relieve me from my duties.
I left the ship to buy some vitamins in the local city. The taxi driver drove an old police car, and somehow, we got along. Mostly, I just dumped all my ship adventures on him. Eventually, he drove me to the local seamen’s center to share this with them, but since I was a foreign citizen, I didn’t even try. Eventually, I bought some vitamins and returned to the ship.
In the next days on my gangway duty, I saw bosun Peter who used a cart to move around the deck and transport tools and other items. Cables and wires dangled and dragged around because it was hard for him to get down and pick them up from the cart as he limped and pushed the cart around. One day, as I was on gangway duty, we were notified of planned departure that day.
The 3rd Officer came to me and, laughing, and said, “The cook can’t open the door from his storeroom. It seems he triggered some anti-theft mechanism. Now we are waiting for the service to unlock it. Departure may be delayed.”
I laughed.
The 3rd Officer said, “Too bad that didn’t happen at sea. Maybe then someone would help me throw that scum overboard.”
The service crew was able to solve the issue, and our departure was not hindered, so the ship left the port.
The next day, I brought tea to the coffee room.
Bosun Peter said to me, “From now on, you will wash my clothes.”
Neanderthal AB said, “Our clothes from everyone on deck, brother.”
I said, “I’m not your servant. There is nowhere written in the contract that I must wash your dirty underwear.”
Bosun Peter said, “Yes, you will. If I say something, you will follow through. I’m the law here.”
I said, “My answer is still no.”
Bosun Peter said, “Is this your final word?”
I nodded and said, “My final word is NO.”
I left the coffee room, and shortly after, the sleazy waiter looked for me.
The sleazy waiter said, “The Captain wants to see you now. Quickly. Go.”
I went to see Captain Balding in his office, and he said, “I heard you will not follow the bosun's orders.”
I said, “Orders? What orders? You mean to wash their underwear and iron it. I’m not their servant. I’m a deckhand.”
Captain Balding very calmly said, “Then you can expect to be relieved of your duties in a month and a half since after the next port we are sailing for about 45 days. That will be roughly nine months of your duty on board.”
I said, “Fine by me.”
Captain Balding said, “Very well, you made your decision, and this will go on the company’s record. You can leave my office.”
I left his office calmly, but inside, my thoughts raged. In my mind, I was throwing everyone’s underwear around and setting everything on fire. Within a few steps, I was already wielding a flamethrower in my imagination. On my way down, I bumped into deckhand Eric, who was dragging big black trash bags filled with something.
I asked, “What are those?”
Deckhand Eric replied, “The laundry. I thought it would be just working overalls, but it’s like you said—dirty underwear and all their private robes.”
I said nervously, “Why the hell did you do it? Why didn’t you say, like I did, just no? Now you are stuck, and every new deckhand will be forced to do their laundry after I’m gone.”
Deckhand Eric said, “You are going away.”
I said, “Yeah, just came down from the Captain, and now you will be alone, stuck doing their dirty laundry.”
Deckhand Eric said, “A few of them ridiculed me and laughed when they handed me their laundry. Even gloated as now they have their servant like the officers have the waiter.”
I just shrugged and shook my head as I left deckhand Eric.
After a few weeks, we approached a big and long canal where the locals would moor and guide the ship. They were dressed mostly in monk robes and sandals. Some even set up shop in our recreation room, selling various goods, including leather wardrobes. The local seller would bother every crew member who passed, bartering and screaming prices; the more you ignored him, the more the price would go down.
It was really hot, and I was on deck duty, monitoring all the mooring the locals did with our equipment. I could barely stand the heat as I was accustomed to cold weather and had a higher body temperature of 37.2 degrees Celsius. The ship felt like a big frying pan, and I was the main dish. The local temperature was 37 degrees Celsius, but it felt more like 40. After my duty, I walked into the superstructure and collapsed in darkness.
I could hear the voice of Chief Officer John, “Jack. Jack, wake up.”
I managed to look around and realized I was on the sofa in the cargo room for handling and managing port operations.
AB Silver said, “You gave us a scare, kid.”
Chief Officer John asked, “What happened? Are you sick? Are you hurt?”
I sat down drowsily and said, “It’s freaking hot outside, and when I entered the hallway, I felt like walking into a fridge, and it was all black after that.”
Chief Officer John looked at the indoor temperature and said, “It is 17 degrees Celsius in here, what the...” He called someone on the ship’s phone and said, “What are you doing? Outside temperature is 37 degrees Celsius, and inside is 17. Are you normal!? Who gave you the order? No wonder I felt cold. What? I don’t care, turn that temperature to 26 at least. Yeah, he can call me for an explanation. Just do it!” Chief Officer John slammed the telephone.
Screams came from the main deck toilet, and a local person burst out from the toilet and ran down the corridor, screaming and holding his ass. The sleazy waiter slowly walked inside the cargo room with a smile.
AB Silver asked, “What just happened? Did you see that?”
The sleazy waiter said with a smile, “I went up to check the bathroom, and I saw these locals smudge their shit all over the walls with their fingers.”
AB Silver said, “Oou. Right.”
I looked confused, and Chief Officer John said to me, “They tend to do this; they don’t use toilet paper, but water and hands. Something like that.”
The sleazy waiter got all serious, “Did you see what they did to the ship’s toilet? Who will clean it afterward? Anyway, now they won’t be painting shit on the walls anymore.”
Chief Officer John asked, “What did you do?”
Sleazy waiter smiled and said, “I just added some caustic soda to their bowl of water. Did you see him run? Now he won’t shit all over the toilet.”
Chief Officer John said, “You are crazy. They will kill us all. Just lock the damn toilet.”
I made my way to the cabin, changed my overalls, and went for lunch.
At lunch in the messroom, I played with the food on my plate.
A local person ran inside and shouted, “Twenty dollars. Twenty dollars. This jacket looks only twenty dollars.”
Huge Motorman said, “What is this guy doing here and rambling about!?”
Neanderthal AB said, “I asked for this jacket, brother, and it was 130 dollars. After I looked at it closely, I didn’t like it, and this guy thinks I’m bartering.”
Marlboro Man stood up and said with a strong voice, “Get out. Who let you in here?” Marlboro Man eventually walked to the local and escorted him out.
The local person screamed, “Fifteen dollars. Fifteen dollars.”
Huge Motorman said, “From 130 to 15 dollars, never heard that before. What’s the quality then?”
Neanderthal AB said, “Brother, it is real leather from some local mammals. It stinks for a month or two. I usually leave it hanging outside for a few weeks, and the smell will disappear.”
Huge Motorman laughed and said, “No thanks.”
Soon we left the canal and sailed for my final port.
After a few weeks, we got close to our port of destination, and Captain Balding called me to his office.
Captain Balding said, “The next port is soon, and just for your information, you will be deducted 300 dollars from your last pay because we retain it for the inspection of cabins after you leave the ship. If we conclude that your cabin is damaged in some way, we will use these 300 dollars to repair it.”
I calculated my income to be 500, and they will charge 300. Where is the logic in that? But anyway, my cabin is in pristine condition, so I’ll get my money back. I said, “OK, if these are the regulations. Fine.” I went to the TV room.
Inside the TV room, there were Marlboro Man and Huge Motorman.
I sat down and said, “Captain just told me he’ll deduct 300 dollars from my last pay for cabin damages. If they determine any, I will never see that money again.”
Huge Motorman chuckled and said, “You will never see any money. No one ever did, because he will always determine cabin damage and take your money.”
Marlboro Man said, “I bet it is hard for the Captain to live with 11,000 dollars per month, so he needs to steal from us.”
I said, “This is a strange company. People stay 2-5 years on board. They take your money for barbecue. There is nothing to eat, just raw potatoes. They take money when you go home, and the best part is some people pay up to come on board. Just unbelievable. They better never call me again.”
Finally, we arrived at the port, and a van took me on an 18-hour drive. When I got home, my mother cried as she saw I had lost 30kg and looked like I had been sent to a concentration camp. My bones stuck out everywhere, my teeth were yellow and missing. Seeing her cry made me so sad because she was a strong woman who maybe cried just a few times in her life.
Part of me was glad to be home, but I felt like I had served some penance labor for something I didn’t do. I was so mentally messed up from this last ship that for one day, I just stared at the turned-off TV. I didn’t even notice it was off. Time just passed by.
The second day, my father came to me and said, “Son, we got a call to go on a ship.”
I just shook and said, “Ship? What? I didn’t even get home. What ship?”
My father said, “You know how this goes. If you turn this down, it will look bad, and the agency will not call you back for a long time or maybe never.”
I shouted, “I don’t care.”
My father said with a calm voice, “This is a favor for them. It is big to ask this, I know, but we cannot turn this down. They asked specifically for me and you. Nobody else wants to go. They know you just got home. It will be just 15 days guarding a ship in the dock.”
I just stared at the coffee table.
My father said, “It will be me and you, son…come on. Do this for me then. Please, son.”
I looked at my father, who was always away when I was a kid. He sacrificed himself for me and our family, but I always missed being around him. My childhood felt empty without him.
I said, “OK, Dad. I’ll go with you.”
At that moment, I promised myself that when my child is born, I will always be there for him, day and night, no matter what. He will not be broken and damaged like me. I will guide and support him every step of the way because, in the end, all that kids want is the love of their parents. As much as I loved and respected my father, he was more of a friend or a neighbor than a real father. I will not let that happen to my son or daughter.
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