After berthing, I got ready to head out, and on the ship's ramp, I saw 2 young men with Frank.
I approached them, and Frank said, “Well, well. New Deck Cadet and Assistant Engineer.” Frank looked at me and said, “You heading out? Take these guys with you, so we don’t lose them on day one.”
I looked at Deck Cadet who had a well-defined jawline and high cheekbones, giving him a chiseled and angular appearance. He had a broad forehead and a slightly pointed chin. HIs brown eyes were framed by thick eyebrows. His nose was straight and well-proportioned, complementing the symmetry of his facial features. His honey-blond hair, though not bald, was thinning, suggesting that he might be bald in a few years.
Then I looked at the Assistant Engineer, whose hairline was receding on both sides. He had a scruffy black beard that added to his laid-back appearance. His face was round with full cheeks, giving him a youthful and approachable look.
Finally, I said, “Well, ok then, follow me.”
The town's structures were a captivating mix of historic charm and modern allure. Grand buildings with intricate facades stood alongside contemporary establishments, creating a dynamic and vibrant atmosphere. The streets were alive with the constant buzz of activity, filled with people enjoying the lively scene. Bars and nightclubs lined the avenues, their neon signs casting colorful glows that danced across the cobblestone paths. The sound of laughter, music, and chatter echoed through the air, making the town feel like a perpetual celebration.
We walked to the first nightclub, and I entered. I glanced around the club full of people, and my eyes locked with a dancer. For a moment, we gazed at each other. Then, a big hand tapped me on my shoulder. I turned around to find the bouncer, gesturing for me to follow him. Outside the club, there stood a Deck Cadet and an Assistant Engineer.
I asked, “What is the problem?”
The Deck Cadet replied, “He won’t let him enter the club.”
The bouncer mumbled something in a foreign language and pointed with his finger to the Assistant Engineer’s feet. I looked down and saw thongs on his feet.
I asked nervously, “What the fuck is that?”
The Assistant Engineer replied, “They are thongs.”
I asked, “Why would you wear thongs in a nightclub?”
The Assistant Engineer replied, “I dressed comfortably. I like wearing thongs.”
I shook my head and said, “Come on, follow me. Next time I see thongs, you’ll stay on the ship.”
The Deck Cadet asked, “Where are we going?”
I replied, “Back to the ship, for him to get some shoes.”
We walked back to the ship, and Frank said, “Back so soon?”
I pointed out the Assistant Engineer and said, “This specialist decided to wear thongs. There is a dress code for some clubs.”
Frank looked at the Assistant Engineer and said, “Thong man. My man.”
I just shook my head and turned around to gaze at the city while the Assistant Engineer got ready. I saw a big light beam across the sky; all that was missing was a Batman sign on top.
I asked, “What is that reflector beam?”
Frank replied, “Probably the international club, one of the most famous in the world. You should take them there; it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
I said, “Hmm. Maybe we could go there.”
The Assistant Engineer came down, and we left straight for that international club.
As we arrived closer to the club, we saw a big building with almost no sound coming from the inside. The club had a modern and sleek appearance, with a white facade that stood out against the surrounding landscape. The entrance was marked by large, bold illuminated signage displaying the club's name. The exterior design was minimalist yet stylish, with clean lines and a contemporary aesthetic. The club's entrance area was spacious, allowing for the large crowds that gathered during peak nights. The surrounding area was well-maintained, with palm trees and other greenery adding a touch of natural beauty to the scene.
I paid the entrance fee for me and the boys. When we entered, the dance music was loud. I saw massage tables, a bar, a VIP area upstairs, and a ceiling beam that separated one room from another. As I walked under the beam, the music changed from dance to trance. I was stunned that the music didn’t overlap, so I walked back and forth a few times like a small child, until I finally gazed into the room and saw thong-wearing people without shirts, all sweaty and sleazy. Together, they looked like a big nest of naked snails. I looked back at the Assistant Engineer and shook my head. We stayed there for a few hours, giving them time to have fun while I filled my memory with images of these electronic snail people. Eventually, we went back to the ship.
The next day, I was on deck watch, and Cool Hand came to me.
Cool Hand said, “The Captain is standing all day on the bridge wing with deep thoughts. Better be prepared, Jack. That means he is cooking something in his head. The longer he thinks, the worse it will be for us.”
I said, “Now I’m curious.”
Cool Hand said, “I’ll give you curious when I smack you behind your head.”
I smiled, and Cool Hand just shook his head and left to secure loaded cars. A company inspector came on board and checked if the ship was in accordance with company regulations.
Around noon, Cool Hand came to me and said, “The inspector wants to see you. He is waiting for you in the safety locker.”
I nodded and left for the safety locker that is used to store spare safety equipment.
The inspector was an average person, and he wanted me to unlock and help check all the equipment on his list. We found that by company regulations, the ship should have a double set of extinguishers: one set in designated areas and one spare set. In the locker, there were only kits for charging extinguishers, and the inspector found this was not by the letter. After the inspector was finished, I locked the safety locker and returned to my duties on deck.
After a while, Captain Vile said on the portable VHF radio, “Third, this is the Captain. Report to my office.”
I said on the portable VHF radio, “This is the Third, understood. Report to your office.”
I reached the Captain’s Office where Captain Vile sat behind his desk, examining a long list brimming with remarks. “Third,” he said, looking up, “you have a remark. There are some extinguishers missing.”
I said, “The company sent me these charging kits instead of real extinguishers.”
Captain Vile said, “The inspector doesn’t approve them. This is your problem. I need you to fix it.”
I said, “Let me get this correct. They sent the equipment, and then they sent their inspector to check what we did. Now he is saying that it is not by their book. Well, when he reports back, they will sort it out.”
Captain Vile said, “There can’t be a deficiency on my ship.”
I said, “This isn’t a deficiency. Under SOLAS[1], we are covered. We need 50%, and we have 100%. This is just a strange company regulation.”
Captain Vile said, “I want this matter resolved.”
I said, “What am I supposed to do, send the kits back to the company and ask for a spare pallet of extinguishers?”
Captain Vile said, “You can’t do that.”
I said, “Then how am I supposed to solve this? Go to a local store and buy a pallet of extinguishers?”
Captain Vile said, “You can’t do that either, but you need to solve this problem.”
I said, “Give me contact details from the company and—”
Captain Vile cut me off and said, “No contact, and I expect you to fix this problem. You are dismissed.”
I just looked at him for a second and left his quarters.
I went back down on deck watch and saw the inspector. I said, “About that remark for the extinguishers—if the company sent me a pallet of kits instead of extinguishers, don’t you agree that for them, this is a cheaper replacement?”
The company inspector said, “I agree. It’s not my problem. They have a lot of ridiculous rules, and they don’t even follow them or understand them. It’s management—they just invent rules and change them all the time to justify their job positions in the company.”
I said, “It’s just the Captain. He is grinding me because he never had a deficiency, and only I have one.”
The company inspector said, “You’re not the only one. There are a lot of deficiencies on this list, but none of them affect SOLAS. In terms of the law, you are clear and did everything by the book. This list is just absurd, so don’t waste your breath on it.”
I said, “I see… thanks for that information.” I continued my watch and ignored the recent events.
The next day, before departure, Captain Vile called me into his office.
Captain Vile said, “Third. I’m very disappointed. You didn’t resolve this matter, and this will be noted in your resume.”
I raised my eyebrows and said, “Fine. May I be excused?”
Captain Vile waved his fingers at me to disappear from his sight. I left his quarters to prepare for the departure of the ship, and eventually, the ship departed.
A few days before reaching our port of destination, Captain Vile came to the bridge while I was on watch. “Third,” he said, “we'll be arriving in one of those third world countries, and I need you to hide the Marlboro boxes. Just leave one box open with five to ten cartons inside.”
I asked, “Why, Captain?”
Captain Vile said, “These people trade Marlboro cigars. I think some of them even have shops and sell these Marlboros that they steal from ships.”
I said, “But how is this legal?”
Captain Vile said, “This is their country, and legal or not legal is relative. Let me tell you a story. I worked there before. Our company had an office in that place, and one day I was driving to work. When I drove through an intersection, a car crashed into me from the passenger side. That car had no doors or hood, just tires and a seat. I was taken into custody and ended up in court, where the judge basically told me that this is their country, and I have no business here. Without me, there would be no incident. They deported me, and the company decided to close the office.”
I said, “They didn’t even take into account that the other driver had half a car to begin with?”
Captain Vile said, “These people are not to be taken lightly. If you look at them wrong or don’t give them a smoke, you have a chance of ending up in their jail. I know some people who never got out. I was lucky enough.”
I asked, “Where will I hide the Marlboro?”
Captain Vile said, “Not in all the usual places like the ceiling. If they perform a search, they could find it, and then we would be in real trouble.”
I said, “I understand. We have red and white Marlboro; should I leave ten of each, or?”
Captain Vile said, “Five of each. They will fuss about because they like only the red one. Just tell them next time they will get more.”
I said, “Ok, Captain.”
Captain Vile said, “Don’t forget to put those rat guards on the ropes after we berth.”
I said, “Rat guards. Got it, Captain.”
Captain Vile nodded and left the bridge. I reconsidered a few options on where to hide the cigarettes, and I finally decided to hide them in the radars and electrical compartments on the bridge.
After a few days, we berthed in the next port, and a lot of port officials came on board the ship. Once they concluded their talks with Captain Vile, they demanded to check the slop chest room. Instantly, I realized they were after their cut of Marlboros. Captain Vile gave me a nod, signaling that I should lead them to the slop chest. As I opened the door, they rushed in, shoving me aside, and began fighting over the cigarettes like dogs over bones. Their shouts in their language filled the room, and some of them seemed genuinely angry.
Some of them said, “This is it?”
“Not enough, for all of us.”
“Give us more.”
One of the officials, wearing a white suit and bare feet with sandals, approached me. He had a medium to tan complexion with a pronounced jawline. His eyes were almond-shaped, framed by thick dark eyebrows. His nose was slightly aquiline, and his small mustache was neatly trimmed. He had short, dark, and thick curly hair. He leaned his face into mine and said, “More red Marlboro… bring now.”
I said, “Sorry sir. This is all we have.”
The official in the white suit said, “You find more, or you never leave this port.”
I said, “We don’t have any more, sir. I promise next time we will have more.”
The official in the white suit shouted something to the others in their language. They argued heatedly, and in their frustration, a few of the white Marlboros were thrown on the floor. The room was filled with their angry shouts, making the tension even more palpable.
The official in the white suit said, “You see our bags. They must be full.”
I looked at their old, worn-out leather bags that could easily hold up to 5-6 cartons. I said, “Please, sir, this is my first time here. I don’t know how many Marlboros you need.”
The official in the white suit stepped back, nodded, and said, “First time here.”
They argued again, and the official in the white suit picked up the white Marlboro. He waved the white Marlboro in front of my face and said, “Next time, only red. Not this cheap white, and these boxes must be full. Understand.” Then he kicked the empty Marlboro boxes, emphasizing his point.
I said, “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”
The official in the white suit looked me in the eyes and said, “No thank you. There is a problem; our bags are empty. This Marlboro you have is not enough.”
I glanced around at the shelves in the slop chest room, which held various alcoholic beverages and hygienic supplies. I said, “You can take anything from this room.”
The official in the white suit talked in their local language with the others. Soon they all shouted, waving their hands around. It seemed they didn’t know how to talk normally.
The official in the white suit picked up a bottle of strong liquor and said, “No alcohol in this country.”
I said, “I didn’t see anything, sir.”
The official in the white suit nodded and said something to his colleagues. They cheered and started filling their bags with everything they could get their hands on, from liquor to a toothbrush. They looted almost the entire slop chest room.
The official in the white suit said, “We’re ok for now. But not good. Next time, Marlboro!” He moved his head close to my face and said, “Understand?”
I said, “I understand.”
The official in the white suit yelled something at the others, and they all left.
I looked at the barren slop chest, shook my head, and locked the door.
I returned to the Captain's quarters and said to Captain Vile, “They were angry, and I barely managed to calm them down, but they looted almost the entire slop chest. Next time, they demand boxes of red Marlboro.”
Captain Vile calmly said, “We agreed on five red and five white Marlboros. Everything else they took I should charge you.”
I said, “But Captain… they said we would never leave this port.”
Captain Vile said, “Next time you will know better, and then we will give them only five white Marlboro.”
I just looked at him and imagined those people throwing me in prison for the rest of my life. Captain Vile moved his fingers for me to get lost.
I walked outside in disbelief and said to myself, “I’m never coming back to this place again.”
Cool Hand said on the portable VHF radio, “Third, I need you on forward.”
I said on my portable VHF radio, “Ok, bosun. Be right there.”
[1] SOLAS - Safety of Life at Sea is an international maritime treaty that sets minimum safety standards in the construction, equipment, and operation of merchant ships.
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