I spent most of my days on the phone with my father. For just a few dollars, I could buy a payphone card that lasted for two hours. During our calls, we talked about all the events that had occurred on my ship.
My father said on the payphone, “I was on that ship before, and the right gangway didn’t work. The brake had a tendency to slip, causing the gangway to drop down unexpectedly. We used to secure it at the handle, and there was always someone assigned to watch it. However, one time I told one of my men to watch the handle while I prepared the net, and, of course, he didn’t. The gangway flew down and fell into the sea between the ship and shore. I went down with it, hitting a wooden plank with my backside before plunging into the water.”
I asked my father on the payphone, “Were you alright…did someone save you?”
My father replied on the payphone, “I was lucky not to get tangled in the net and managed to crawl out onto the wharf. On all fours, I carefully checked to see if anything was broken. Thankfully, everything was fine. I didn't even go to the doctor—you know me. After the ship left the port…oh boy…my rear end started to hurt and swelled so much that my butt cheeks merged. The crew had to carry me to the toilet. One day, the skin cracked, and the Second Mate squeezed out two deciliters of pus.”
I said on the payphone, “Ughh…Did you manage to call a doctor or get to one?”
My father said on the payphone, “In the port, I went to the doctor, and he said the worst part is over. He gave me some antibiotics and sent me back to the ship.”
I said on the payphone, “Okay. Good thing you didn’t break something. Did he give you some time off until the wound healed?”
My father said on the payphone, “Even though I didn’t get any time off, the crew spared me and we went to an island with some girls. It was fifteen dollars per head, and a bus would bring a girl for each member—mostly students. They transported us to the island on a RIB. There was a beach house with a bar, and we partied all day with music, dancing, and booze. The crew really enjoyed it, and some even had races with girls riding on their shoulders. On the way back, we ran into some trouble; the bus malfunctioned. We wanted to take a taxi, but they were all occupied since the kids were using them to go to school. After a lot of struggle, we managed to catch a taxi and get back to the ship.”
I said on the payphone, “Never heard of that before. Taxis are usually expensive for us, at least. Can’t imagine kids driving around.”
My father said on the payphone, “Over there, you had to be careful. If you weren’t paying attention, they would count the money in front of you but fold the bills in the middle, making one banknote appear as two. Sneaky bastards.”
I chuckled and said on the payphone, “Definitely going to remember that.”
My father said on the payphone, “When we left the port, we encountered heavy weather. For a few days, we couldn’t see past hold number three. Once the storm calmed down, we checked the front end of the ship. Everything on deck had been swept away by the sea—barrels, buoys, even the front lid was torn off. Below deck, the rope storage was completely underwater. We managed to pump out the water and sort out the mooring ropes without having to cut them. We were lucky. I know of a few ships where this happened, and the ropes got so tangled that the only option was to cut everything. They had to wait at anchor for new mooring ropes.”
I said on the payphone, “That must have been some weather when it managed to tear off the lid.”
My father said on the payphone, “It was a bad design. The lid opened at the front end of the ship. In the next port, they welded a new lid, fixing the mistake so it opened at the stern. After that, I had a constant pain in my eye, like someone was poking it with a needle. I visited many doctors, but none could help; some even accused me of faking it. Until one day, we arrived at a port, and an old doctor dressed in rags with a worn-out leather bag checked me out. You couldn’t tell who was older, the doctor or the bag. He gave me eye ointment, and within a few days, I was cured. I promised myself that day…I would never judge a person by their appearance.”
I said on the payphone, “Old school. That had to be some old doctor full of experience.”
My father said on the payphone, “One of the men bought something to harden his penis. Only a few drops of this, and the penis would stay hard for hours. After midnight, we all woke up and saw his naked girlfriend run down the hallway. He walked up to us with his penis standing up and explained that he couldn’t get it down after a few hours. I laughed and told him that this is probably for old men.”
I laughed.
My father said on the payphone, “Now we have all these technologies and modern medicine for what? To say to me that I’m faking it. Anyway, after that, I boarded a ship that was three years old. It was also fully automatic, and guess what…”
I said on the payphone, “Everything was broken.”
My father chuckled and said on the payphone, “There was no maintenance whatsoever. The twin deck was stuck because of a faulty valve, and the previous crew insisted that we needed to go to the dock for an overhaul. Our deck mechanic just replaced the faulty part, and everything worked. The old crew was speechless. It was grueling work to get the ship fully operational, and we had limited time. We even repaired a broken crane that was scattered all over the deck. The Chief Officer was impressed with how quickly we got the ship running, but after all that hard work, they planned to replace us with lazy relatives. We mutinied and stayed until our contract was fulfilled.”
I said on the payphone, “I just hate that. First they use you and then replace you with lazy people who will undo all the repairs you’ve done.”
My father said on the payphone, “I remember saying a lot of harsh things to the Chief Officer and the Captain. Maybe too much, but they deserved it. We stayed at the anchorage, and the Captain’s wife arrived with a relative on a pilot boat. The sea was rough, and the Captain locked himself in the cabin because he didn’t know how to bring his wife onboard. I went down the pilot ladder, and that woman was like a cat. She followed my instructions perfectly and was up in no time. But the relative—I’ve never met a clumsier man in my life. He almost drowned both of us. After that, the Captain treated us well, but the Chief Officer was a different story.”
I asked my father on the payphone, “How so?”
My father replied on the payphone, “The Supercargo was on board and told us they would pay us two dollars to secure the container, two dollars to remove the lashing, and four dollars for general cargo. After we loaded the cargo, the Chief came and took half of the money for himself. To make matters worse, he also deleted our overtime hours. The crew was not pleased, and in the next port, he did the same thing. I left the ship, and the entire deck crew followed me. In the end, I guess they got what they wanted.”
I said on the payphone, “For you to leave so they can board their selected crew of special people. You see, pops, you have the wrong traits. You should be lazy with reduced brain functions.”
My father chuckled and said, “You didn’t call me pops or dad for a long time. Always old man. I know I’m old but….”
I asked my father on the payphone, “What happened to the Chief?”
My father replied on the payphone, “Nothing. Thieves in higher positions always cover each other. They explained to the office that we are the bad crew.”
I laughed and said on the payphone, “I asked a stupid question. I already knew the answer.”
My father said on the payphone, “That ship was something. You could set the winches to self-regulate, and as the tides shifted, they would release or tighten the mooring ropes automatically. A few of the hatch motors were burned out, and until they were replaced, we had to move the remaining motors from hatch to hatch to operate them. Those things were incredibly heavy... Where was I... oh...”
I said on the payphone, “Now you know why I call you old man. Sometimes you remind me of that movie Old Folks.”
My father laughed and said on the payphone, “I remembered what I wanted to say. I noticed that when superiors steal from the crew, it creates a culture of theft that spreads. In one container, there was high-class wine. The supercargo locked the container and placed a toothpick and a piece of cigar as markers before taking a picture. During the voyage, the crew picked the padlock, took pictures, and stole twenty cases of wine. They then returned everything to match the original picture. When we reached the port, the supercargo was furious. He couldn’t figure out where the wine had gone.”
I said on the payphone, “The crew is always resourceful. Did they drink the wine or sell it?”
My father said on the payphone, “They drank it all. One day, near the ship, they were drunk and laughing when a local guard approached them, thinking they were mocking him. He lined them up and bullied them for a few hours. That was it for that port; nobody went out until the next port, a place known for the most beautiful women. A song by Rocio Durcal called 'Your Love Was So Little' had just come out. I loved that song, and every time I visited the same bar in that port, the girls would put it on repeat until I left the bar.”
I said on the payphone, “I don’t think I know that song.”
My father said on the payphone, “It was way before you were born. After that port, we encountered a heavy storm and barely survived it. We almost lost the mooring ropes, but I managed to save and secure them. The ship was empty, and it rolled on the waves so much that the stern would dip into the sea. To make matters worse, after the storm, we told the fitters to clean the hydraulic system on the forward end. These guys used a fire hose and washed everything—from electrical closets to pumps. The Chief Engineer almost had a heart attack when he saw what they had done.”
I said on the payphone, “Stupid humans. I can imagine that.”
My father said on the payphone, “There was also the mechanic. He was on the mast and yelled that he would throw himself down. I remember someone shouting, ‘Don’t forget to put a weight around your neck; we don’t want to see you again…’”
I asked my father on the payphone, “Why the hostility?”
My father replied on the payphone, “He stole a lot of pants from the cargo, damaging the packaging and creating a lot of problems for everyone. He ended up on the crew's blacklist. Even the cook, who used to leave the kitchen unlocked so we could get a snack if needed, had enough. That guy messed up the entire kitchen. The cook found dirty dishes, a burnt stove, and half-eaten chicken. He finally said no more and locked the kitchen. All because of that guy.”
I said on the payphone, “Quite a guy.”
My father said on the payphone, “That wasn’t all. We transported milk on pallets, and someone loosened one of the lashings to take some milk. You can imagine what happened during bad weather. The pallet shifted, and soon there was chaos in the hold. Milk was everywhere.”
I asked my father on the payphone, “Was it him?”
My father replied on the payphone, “We weren't sure. In our minds, he was the main culprit, but I don’t know which was worse, him or the other one who abandoned his watch on another ship. It was a brand-new ship, with zero days at sea, and the watchman left his post. When a bit of bad weather picked up, all the lines broke off. The ship was only held by the ramp lowered onto the wharf. The front end drifted away from the dock. It was intense—alarms blaring, everyone running around, trying to save the ship. The owner was there, running around with a piece of pork in his hand.”
I asked my father on the payphone, “Was there any damage?”
My father replied on the payphone, “Luckily for us, zero damage. We managed to secure it, and the owner personally kicked the watchman off the ship.”
I said on the payphone, “I wish I could see the owner run around with pork in his hand.”
My father said on the payphone, “He saw the table and benches I crafted for the coffee room and asked where they came from. When they told him I made them, he said, ‘These are coming with me. Bosun can make another set for you lot.’ That was it. All I could do next was give myself a new order: ‘Bosun, go build another set of table and benches.’”
I said on the payphone, “At least he liked your set enough to take it home with him.”
My father said on the payphone, “It was pretty sturdy. After we were pushed to the anchorage, the Captain didn’t listen to me. The anchorage was bad, and he dropped both anchors against my advice. The ship was unable to anchor and just drifted in all directions. When he gave up, it was too late; the anchor chains were intertwined. I argued with the Chief for an hour to let me untangle them. Finally, he listened, and I managed to untangle the anchors. We moved to another anchorage, and the same thing happened—no one listened to me, and we caught a chain three times larger than ours. The Chief sent a few men with a lifeboat; they almost tipped over. Then they finally listened to me. I used a mooring rope to secure the other chain and free our anchor. The Captain came with a bottle of whiskey and told me that next time they’d listen to me.”
I laughed and said on the payphone, “At least they learned to listen to you.”
My father said on the payphone, “You came to visit me on that ship when you were a toddler. You didn't want to come close or hug me because I had a beard. Once I shaved it off, you came running to me. I'll never forget that.”
I said on the payphone, “I’ve been trying to let you grow your beard for years. I never saw you with a beard.”
My father said on the payphone, “Yeah… Anyway, your mother cooked for you in the kitchen and helped the cook. They shared recipes, tips, and tricks. She was fascinated by how he managed to slice thin pieces of meat. She told me later he used half-frozen meat and just sliced it to his preferred thickness. Unfortunately, our bonding was short-lived as we had to move to the anchorage, and the Captain banned all wives and kids.”
I said on the payphone, “That’s a bit harsh.”
My father said on the payphone, “Well, he was the Captain, and he made his decision. Maybe his decision was influenced a bit by our vacuum sewage system. Some of the wives threw their pads and tampons in the toilet, causing the vacuum system to stop working. We had to dismantle half of the ship to find and remove them from the system. We had to move all the wives and kids to a hotel. You got sick, and a total stranger helped us reach a first aid hut on the beach. They helped you, and in a few days, you were as good as new.”
I said on the payphone, “I remember that story; the old woman used to retell it a few times.”
My father said on the payphone, “She probably didn’t tell you about the time I was on a steam ship in an anchorage, and another ship rammed into us. The crew panicked and got stuck at the exit door, blocking it. I had to calm them down and move them one by one until I saw a few crewmembers with suitcases stuck at the door. I couldn't believe how quickly they had packed. I just grabbed my money and passport. The shore refused to pick us up and ordered us to ram the ship into shallow waters, which were mostly mud. The other ship backed up, and we slowly made our way to the shallow water, running the ship aground.”
I said on the payphone, “Then they repaired it on the beach, or…”
My father said on the payphone, “No. After some time, they told us to back up, but we were stuck because holds number one and two were underwater. The Captain asked for tugs, but they demanded $500,000 with no guarantee that they would free us.”
I chuckled and said on the payphone, “Nice math. It would turn out better if they gave a round number like a million.”
My father said on the payphone, “We had no choice but to check the rest of the ship and free it ourselves. We were ordered to throw the phosphate cargo overboard with shovels. We argued for a few days about the payment until the Captain agreed to pay us an extra six dollars per hour. He screamed, ‘I’m fair this and that.’ I told him I had heard that plenty of times before…just put it in black and white. After he signed the paper, it took us many days to shovel out a decent amount of phosphate. The Chief calculated how much was needed for us to get free and navigate to a dock for repairs.”
I said on the payphone, “Interesting. I thought you wouldn’t move with a hole in your ship. Not to say even navigate.”
My father said on the payphone, “We moved the anchors over the deck, past half of the ship to the stern. That was the hardest part. We were scared that if something went wrong, the anchor would sweep across half of the deck. We carefully lowered them, and when the engine was ready, we used the propeller and the anchor to get free. Bit by bit, we managed to break free. On the way to the dock, we almost hit another ship.”
I laughed and said on the payphone, “That would seal the deal.”
My father said on the payphone, “In the dock, they sold the ship, and the new company reduced our paychecks. We stayed until the new crew arrived and mostly hung out. There were cops on every corner, and local people were not allowed to mingle with us. We used to visit a bar, and the cook spent all his money on the waitress. Meanwhile, she was dating another crewmember for free, but they kept it under wraps due to the no-foreigner policy.”
I said on the payphone, “I guess money doesn’t buy everything.”
My father said on the payphone, “You know after nine in the evening, alcohol was forbidden. We had a deal with the waitress to order tea, and she would bring us cognac.”
I laughed, and my father said on the payphone, “After that, I boarded a complicated ship. The designers made it a living hell. Everything was complicated and heavier. There were lots of repairs; the steel cables had lost seventy percent of their thickness. The Chief Officer was in shock, plucking his hair out. There was a Second Officer who went to the gym and lifted heavy weights. He was the biggest person on board, but his strength didn’t help him much. Anything that required finesse or patience made him breathe heavily and tire quickly. Most of us worked nonstop like machines. The ship took a toll on the men. One of them started to act strangely…”
I interrupted my father and said on the payphone, “Drug problem!?”
My father said on the payphone, “Not sure. We kept an eye on him, and one day he disappeared. We searched the ship but couldn’t find him. Then we searched the sea with the ship, but still nothing. The Captain ordered a clean sweep of the ship, and we found him. He had hanged himself with a rope on the ladder from the cargo hold. We had to pull him up, plug all the holes in his body, and wrap him in double plastic bags. Then we moved the meat in the fridge and placed him there in minus ten degrees. After that, most of the crew didn’t want to eat the meat.”
I said on the payphone, “I don’t even want to imagine what ‘plug all holes’ means. Did he stay there until the next port!?”
My father said on the payphone, “As soon as we berthed, a shore team took him off the ship. Most of the crew and all the officers went out, leaving me alone to discharge the entire ship with the ship's cranes. By the evening, I was exhausted, and the Captain came back from the city. He offered to buy me dinner, but I refused because I could barely move.”
I said on the payphone, “Pops…you sacrificed yourself a lot, and for what!? You have problems with knees, shoulders, eyes, ears…you are all worn out. I bet after that you handled cargo operations instead of the Chief Officer.”
My father sighed and said on the payphone, “Yeah… for the rest of the contract, I planned and organized the loading and discharging of the ship. It was not easy. When we had containers, I had to plan the discharge for the next few ports, ensuring almost no shifting of containers. Controlling the crew was also hard because no one wanted to go in the hold where that man hanged himself. The cook didn’t want to go alone in the fridge. Everyone on that ship was off the rails.”
I said on the payphone, “Except you. It looks like you held the entire ship together.”
My father said on the payphone, “Well, you know me, job comes first.”
I asked my father on the payphone, “Did you get any reward for all that?”
My father replied on the payphone, “Yes. I got a ticket home because the company fell apart.”
I laughed and said on the payphone, “I didn’t expect anything more…Nice hearing from you, old man.”
My father said on the payphone, “Take care, son.”
I hung up the payphone and went back to the ship.
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