Eventually, the ship was moved, the derelict sailing yachts were cleared, and a new Captain arrived on board. I noticed him in the Captain’s Office. He was a thin, older man with short gray hair and a clean-shaven face. His nose was slightly bulbous and well-defined, sitting above a firm mouth. His forehead was lined with age and thick brows sat above his deep eyes.
Captain Graybeard walked to me with a suitcase and said, “Take care, private. It was an honor working with you. Say hi to your dad for me.”
I said, “Sure, Captain.” Captain Graybeard tapped me on the shoulder and left the ship.
A voice from the Captain's Office said, “Young man, please come to my office.”
I came in front of the new Captain and said, “Welcome aboard, Captain. I’m Third Officer Jack.”
The thin old Captain said, “Thank you. I’m Captain Merk. We will be departing soon, so get your men ready and on stations.”
I said, “Yes, Captain.”
I gathered Bosun and AB on the front end of the ship.
AB said, “You probably didn’t hear, Third. We sent Zelon to plug in a vacuum cleaner, and he got electrocuted.”
I said, “Is he okay!?”
AB said, “He’s fine. We checked the cable, the plug, the vacuum cleaner, the wall socket. Everything is normal. We can’t figure out how he managed to plug himself in. I tell you, that boy is missing a few bolts in his head.”
Bosun waved his right hand and said, “Ehhh, he is suffering from father figure deprivation.”
I asked, “From what?”
Bosun said, “He had no father, and now he is a jewel of the sea. By the way, I heard the new Captain is Captain Merk.”
I said, “Yes, it’s him.”
Bosun said, “I heard he used to have a good ship under his command until he decided to swap tires from a new car.”
AB said, “What!?”
Bosun continued, “It was the same brand as his car, so he called his wife to show up and ordered the OS to take the new tires with rims off a car in the cargo hold and replace them with the old tires and rims from his car. At the destination port, the cargo controllers noticed that one of the new cars had old sets of rims and tires. The issue quickly went up the chain, and he was discharged.”
AB said, “But with his salary, he could buy a container of tires. I’ll never understand those kinds of people.”
Captain Merk said on the portable VHF radio, “From now on, you will be using only one winch, and all ropes must be on bollards.”
Bosun said, “What did he just say?”
I used my portable VHF radio and said, “But why, Captain? All the winches work normally.”
Captain Merk said on the portable VHF radio, “It’s an order.”
I said, “Another jewel of the sea. Where do they find these guys?”
Captain Merk said on the portable VHF radio, “Forward, let go headlines one by one. Aft, let go stern lines one by one.”
We loosened one headline. The shore crew took it off, and we pulled it on board with the winch. Then the next headline—same procedure.
Bosun said, “You know why he is making us use only one winch and release one rope at a time. He’s been this way since the accident.”
I said, “I haven’t heard. What accident?”
Bosun said, “Before, he used to say 'let go everything' like most Captains do. One time, a spring line on the aft got caught on the shore bollard. It broke off, flew around the aft, and struck the Chief Mate in the kidney. They talked him out of filing an accident report for 250,000 dollars. Eventually, the Chief got sick and was sent home, where doctors had to operate and remove his kidney.”
I said, “Wow, another nice story. And the Chief, is he still active?”
Bosun said, “No, he couldn’t pass medical exams anymore to be fit for a ship.”
I said, “It figures, we are just meat to them.”
AB said, “I was once with Merk when he was an officer. He used to say: ‘Well bro, put some ropy to stop the can from walking around.’”
Bosun said, “What, never heard him talk like that.”
I said, “What does he mean, walking around? To drift?”
AB chuckled and said, “Basically, his way of saying to moor the ship so it doesn’t move.”
Bosun laughed and said, “Walking around. He probably was raised on land, far from the sea.”
AB said, “Yes. It took him a lot of years to learn basic maritime stuff and speak properly.”
Captain Merk said on the portable radio, “Let go breast lines.”
Eventually, we left the port and proceeded to our next port of destination.
After a few days, we reached our port of destination and began mooring operations.
Captain Merk said on the portable VHF radio, “Forward and stern, prepare your spring lines. Stern will go first, then forward.”
I said on the portable VHF radio, “This is forward, prepare spring.”
Second Mate said on the portable VHF radio, “This is stern, go for spring line.”
The ship moved closer to the wharf with its stern.
Captain Merk was on the bridge wing. He observed the whole situation. The stern spring line was on shore, and Captain Merk said on the portable VHF radio, “Stern, hold the spring.”
Second Mate said on the portable VHF radio, “Stern, hold spring.”
The ship’s front end moved closer to the shore. Bosun handed our spring line to the mooring men on shore, and they attached it to the bollard.
Captain Merk said on the portable VHF radio, “Forward, two headlines, one breast line. Stern, two stern lines, one breast line.”
I said on the portable VHF radio, “This is forward, two headlines, one breast line.”
Second Mate said on the portable VHF radio, “Two stern lines, one breast line.”
We gave all the lines to the shore and secured them.
Captain Merk said on the portable radio, “We need to move four meters astern. Forward, slack headlines and pull spring. Stern, slack spring and pull stern line.”
Second Mate said on the portable VHF radio, “How are we going to do this using only one winch?”
Captain Merk said on the portable VHF radio, “Use your hands.”
Bosun said, “Easy for him to say. Why doesn’t he show us how to do it by hand? The ship has four winches, and you can use only one.”
I said, “These people are all crazy. I’ll take care of the spring, you two man the headlines.”
AB nodded, Bosun shrugged his shoulders, and they each picked up a headline. Bosun walked to the breast line and secured it with only one knot on the ship’s bollard. We followed the ship’s movement astern, and the breast line slowly trailed along with the ship's movement.
Captain Merk said on the portable VHF radio, “Stop. We need to move 2 meters forward.”
I said, “Just great or dandy as some would put it.”
I used my portable VHF radio and said, “Two meters forward.”
Bosun picked up the breast by hand and said, “Let’s replace the spring with a headline on the winch.”
I said, “Ok. I’ll pick up the other headline with my hands this time. You, Bosun, stay on the winch, and AB, you’re on slacking spring.”
The ship moved forward.
Captain Merk said on the portable VHF radio, “Stop, we need to go 1 meter astern.”
AB shook his head while Bosun scratched his head.
I said, “Ok, now we switch. AB, you’re on the winch, put the spring on. Bosun and I will take the headlines.”
The ship moved back.
Captain Merk said on the portable VHF radio, “We need to go forward half a meter.”
I said, “You have to be fucking kidding me.”
Bosun said, “Half a meter, what is he driving, a boat?”
I said, “Ok, we rotate again.”
The ship moved forward a little bit.
Captain Merk said on the portable VHF radio, “Not good. Half a meter astern.”
AB said, “He just said half a meter forward, now back astern.”
Bosun said, “My hands and back are killing me.”
I said, “Only one winch. Why? Why? Why? We’ll do nothing.”
Bosun just nodded, and we stood in pain to catch our breath. After a few minutes, Captain Merk said on the portable VHF radio, “Stop, that’s it. Perfect.”
AB said, “But we didn’t do anything.”
Bosun said, “That’s the point.”
I said, “Well, now we know how much fun we will have in every port. Half a meter forward, stern, forward, stern.”
Bosun said, “He can eat shit and pull the ropes all by himself next time.”
Bosun placed a hand on his back and said, “They can also kiss my ass on arranging cargo.”
I said, “Why would you arrange cargo, just follow the cargo plan from the CO.”
Bosun said with an increased tone, “But there is no cargo plan! The guy is an idiot!”
I said, “Didn’t know there was no cargo plan. You shouldn’t do his work; he probably earns double or triple what you earn in salary.”
We secured all the ropes and left the forward station.
I went to my cabin while Bosun and AB left for the loading deck. After some time, someone knocked on my cabin door. I opened the door, and there was Captain Merk.
I said, “Yes, Captain. How can I help you?”
Captain Merk said, “Did you know Bosun was loading the cargo all this time? It seems our Chief Officer is using others to do his work.”
I said, “I just heard this yesterday. From what I heard, no cargo plan either.”
Captain Merk said, “Yes. I confronted the Chief Officer, and he is clueless about his job responsibilities or how to execute them, so we will be delayed with cargo operations until a new CO arrives.”
I said, “Understood, Captain,” and Captain Merk walked away.
After a few days, the new CO arrived and replaced the clueless Chief Officer Clay. We loaded the cargo, and I was on the bridge, dressed in black pants and a T-shirt, with a beard on my face. I heard a commotion on the stairs. When I walked up, I saw the crew scrubbing the stairs and waxing the floor.
Captain Merk entered the bridge from the outside and said, “Third, the owner is coming. You need to get dressed in officer uniform and shave that beard.”
I looked at Captain Merk, who was impeccably dressed in his Captain’s uniform with a freshly shaved face. I said, “I never wear uniforms; that’s for passenger ships and mingling.”
Captain Merk said, “This is the owner, and you’re an officer. There is no discussion.”
I said, “I agree, no discussion.”
Captain Merk said, “Good. Go through the outside because the crew is waxing the hallways.”
I said, “Maybe you misunderstood, Captain. I’m not changing or shaving. No discussion.”
Captain Merk said, “Then it’s on you. The owner will see you as a disgrace and probably kick you off the ship.”
I said, “We’ll see.”
Captain Merk's jaw tightened, and he walked away from the bridge. I worked on some documents, and after a few hours, Captain Merk returned with someone following him. This person was young, wearing short brown pants and beach flip-flops on his bare feet. His shirt was orange with purple flower decorations, and the buttons were stretched tight over his belly. He was unshaved, had messy hair, and wore black sunglasses. I thought to myself, ‘This is probably the owner.’
Captain Merk said, “This is the bridge.”
The owner glanced around, saw me, and said, “Oh, look at you, a true seaman. You’re the only one with a beard.”
I smiled and said, “I’m Third Officer. Nice to meet you.”
The owner walked over to me, shook my hand, and said, “This is what a real seaman should look like, just like in the old days.” He tapped my shoulder, leaned in a bit, and added, “Not like these playboys.” I smiled. The owner stood beside me, tapped me on the back, and said, “Well, Captain, you should also wear a beard like the Third Officer here. Captains always wore a beard; it’s part of tradition.”
Captain Merk's face turned red, his jaw tightened, and his eyes were fixed on me.
The owner’s phone vibrated, and he took it out from his pants. After glancing at the screen, he said, “I’ve seen enough. Nice meeting you, Third.” The owner walked away, and Captain Merk followed him. After a while, the ship left the port.
One day, during my bridge watch, Captain Merk showed up and said, “I just got an email from the company. It seems our Ex-Chief Officer wrote a letter to the company, and they say it is unreadable, like a three-year-old scribbled something. He doesn’t even know the international language.”
I said, “I only wonder how he managed to be in this business for so long.”
Captain Merk said, “He probably abused his position and always pushed his duties to lower ranks.”
The new CO walked in and said, “Hi there.” He resembled the actor Charlie Schlatter.
I said, “Hi, I’m Jack.”
The new CO said, “I’m Charlie. Just came by to inform you that tomorrow we will have a drill to abandon ship.”
I nodded, and Captain Merk said, “Noted.” They both left the bridge, and I continued with my bridge watch.
The next day, we all mustered at the muster station, and the new CO checked the duties of each crewmember’s duties in the event of abandoning ship. We then reviewed the lifeboat operation and approached the life raft containers.
The new CO said, “The life raft will automatically release itself at a certain depth and inflate.”
Bosun said, “Catching one of them in high winds is impossible, not to say in nighttime—you can’t see anything.”
I said, “Each lifejacket is equipped with a light, so you will be able to find each other. To activate it, just…”
The new CO looked at his lifejacket light and said, “You just turn this, and it will blink.”
I said, “You don’t need to touch it. It will automatically turn on in contact with water.”
The new CO said, “What are you talking about, Third? This isn’t some sci-fi movie.”
I said, “Sci-fi movie or not, these lights work in contact with water.”
The new CO said, “They say smart people keep their mouth shut. I would do the same, Third, before you embarrass yourself further.”
I said, “Well, it’s true. It’s written on them. Look.” I took off my light from the lifejacket, which was attached with Velcro, and approached the new CO.
The new CO said, “Stop it already. Who made you Third Officer? Just get out of my sight and shut up.”
I looked him in the eyes, attached the light back to my lifejacket, and abruptly left the scene. Everyone looked at each other in silence.
The new CO said, “There you go.”
I walked into the messroom, grabbed a glass, and filled it with water from a bottle on the table. Returning to the CO, I demonstratively ripped the light off my lifejacket. Raising both hands, I threw the lifejacket light into the glass of water, where it blinked continuously. Turning around so everyone could see, I then lowered my hands and walked straight to the CO. Looking him in the eyes, I nervously placed the glass on a nearby ship railing. Without a word, I turned around and walked back to my cabin.
Bosun said, “Well, would you look at that. Third was right the whole time.”
The next day, I was on bridge watch when Captain Merk came in.
Captain Merk said, “Well, I don’t know if you heard, but the company sold the ship. In the next port, there will be a bus waiting for us.”
I said, “I haven’t heard. Is there a new crew coming?”
Captain Merk said, “Yes, some cheap foreign workforce. I can’t influence much now, but I’ve noticed some of the stuff is starting to go missing. Probably the crew is stealing it. I would appreciate it if you didn't steal the VHF.”
I said, “You mean my portable radio.”
Captain Merk said, “Yes.”
I said, “But I wasn’t planning to steal anything. It’s all old junk anyway.”
Captain Merk said, “You would be surprised. What is the expression: One man’s junk is another man’s treasure. So, can I count on you?”
I said, “Of course, Captain.”
Captain Merk said, “Very good. That way, my VHF and yours will help the other crew to communicate during mooring operations. The Captain can use a stationed VHF on the bridge. Ours will be for forward and aft.”
I said, “Ok. No problem. You said you noticed something missing already. Like what?”
Captain Merk said, “All the pictures from the messroom are already gone, even some ceiling lights.”
I said, “But it’s all junk.”
Captain Merk shook his head and said, “You mean treasure.”
I chuckled and said, “True.” Captain Merk left the bridge. In the next few days, the ship’s interior was half stripped.
We arrived at the next port, and a group of foreign workers boarded the ship shortly after. We disembarked while they got on board. My crew hauled numerous boxes, crates, and bags. There was so much stuff that some suitcases had to be placed inside the bus because the cargo hold was full. The bus delivered each of us to our respective countries. I finally arrived home and relaxed for a couple of months until I got a call from the office to serve on the next ship—just before the winter holidays.
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